Back at the gym on Sunday the 6th

Well, I felt motivated enough to head back up to the gym on Sunday, December 6th! I really felt pretty good after the first workout I did, so I endeavored to go it again!

Getting Ready: This time, I stuck with the black beanie I wore on my head last time (I have not seemed to have found the time to make more beanies/berets--must do this!!!)...I wore bigger pants and a nice, roomy shirt over the jog bra and breast forms. I will say that the breast forms do like to travel a bit while I am working my arms...funny they seem to want to hang out together right in the front middle of my chest. This time, I just made an annoyed face and nonchalantly relocated them. I did have to do this a few times...and that is just weird. Oh well, I figure I see enough men adjusting themselves that it can't appear that unusual. AND, I decided not to really care that much this time--it worked somewhat well!

My perceptions at the gym: This time, I felt less self-conscious. I really think the bigger shirt helped! I still wish I felt more comfortable with the idea of being mostly bald on my head...but I am not sure I will get over that. Hell, I am not going to stress it too much--if it makes me uncomfortable, I will just make adjustments and carry on!!!

My workout: I worked out for 1.5 hours this time! I seemed to have the energy level to do about 30 minutes of cardio (on the evil elliptical, no-less), and I broke a good sweat! Hey, it kicked my ass a bit, but I kept pushing through the fatigue. Felt really nice afterward to do some arm and leg work. Once again, my body seemed to like the stretches...felt good!!!

I really hope I can keep this up moving forward. It felt nice...yes, it was tiring, but such is life!

~Tory

My First Gym Visit Since August...

Well, yesterday evening I got a "wild hair up my ass" and thought I might like to go workout at the gym! Now, I have not been to my local gym since late August--just before my first surgery in September. Three months...and I had been going so frequently that it had become such a routine (even a comfort and release!)

Getting ready: It took me a while to get dressed to go. Having both of "the girls" removed presents with it some unique wardrobe issues regardless; however, most of my gym clothing tops had morphed into tighter-fitting-but-still-functional jog bras and tighter tank tops. Wearing something like that now just makes me look odd. Here's the picture: jog bra + tank, a beanie on my head, my makeup was still on from work, and I had on a pair of yoga pants with my running shoes. With absolutely no boobies, I looked downright amorphous--excluding my rounded hips and lack of protrusion in my groin area. So, I shoved a couple of silicone "breastforms" into my jog bra (the slots for the pads work well for this) and found a looser-fitting tank. If I keep up this gym thing, I will have to get some looser tops to wear over these jog bras/forms. Eventually, I felt sorta "female-looking" and I took off to the gym.

My perceptions at the gym: I was very self-consious at first...it only waned a bit during the hour I was there. I would really like not to have to wear a beanie on my head while working out; however, I have such little hair on my head, and I feel like I would have been more self-consious without it. Most of the folks at my gym are there to work out...not to get laid, so folks really do pay more attention to what they are doing (as opposed to the people around them.) I never felt self-consious there before, so I will have to work on my own perceptions of my SELF to handle it better next time. Oh, and looser tops will help too--I would really prefer to not have to worry about whether my fake titties are migrating during exercise!  So: next time, keep the beanie (need a good all-cotton one though), and wear a bigger shirt/tank. This is easy...so let's go with it!

My workout: I worked out for about an hour. In the past, I would do from 1 hour to 1.5 hours, depending on my energy level. I did move much more slowly, so what I packed into the hour last night was much less than I had done in the past. Slowly but surely. I did the regular treadmill for about 15 minutes...my shins were yelling at me a bit, so I had to stop a couple of times to stretch them out (I used to have to do that--must remember to loosen those up a bit before I start!!!) I really could not get my heartrate up into the "Cardio" range, but I really didn't stress about it. My heart deserves a break after everything I have been through this year!!! I completed just shy of a mile on the mill--with a tiny incline...nice.
After the treadmill, I did some leg-work. I was able to do the same weights I had worked myself up to in August; however, I had to do fewer reps and sets. Really, I was able to do about 2/3 of what I could do before--I was pleasantly surprised by this...and quite happy about it. I only did a few things with my arms...wanting to take it easy on my left arm still, as I have a lot of numbness in my upper left arm yet. Really, my arms did not mind, and the left arm seemed to really "enjoy" the stretching of it all.

While at the gym, one of the trainers who knew I was about to undergo treatment came up and chatted with me. She said I looked "great" and that she wouldn't have known I was in the middle of chemo. She had done the 3-Day Komen Walk during October and said that she had wondered about me. She said to keep it up and she wishes me well. She and I will probably work together on some upper body stuff soon--I think I want some help figuring out how to deal with my chest muscles post-surgery. My docs have not been very helpful with suggestions on this...so we will see.

Today I am feeling pretty good! I feel a little back muscle discomfort, but otherwise I am just fine! I think I will hunt down some looser shirts to wear and head back this weekend. We shall see!

~Tory