Just ONE more.....

Last night was fairly restless--Percoset helps with pain and mood, but it really jacked with the quality of my sleep. Wow...cool dreams though. Nice and bizarre!

The pain from my burns is still very much there, but when I am able to take Percoset, it helps a lot. The swelling under my arm is very slightly reduced...this apparently will take some time to go down. Ugh, I am sure my caffeine intake is not helping either the pain or the swelling for that matter.

Getting into position today for the targeted radiation treatment was a bit easier, thank goodness. The radiation therapists are such good folks--even saved me a doughnut from their lunch! Yummy Krispy Kreme doughnut!

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I am blogging for the Youth and Family Alternatives Rap River Run 5K Race. It is held in June, and I decided a while back to start training to participate. I agreed to track my progress with training for my first 5K, and I blog each Wednesday night with my weekly updates. I really couldn't contribute much this week--I have not been able to do any exercise for about a week and a half. Oh well, when the burns heal up a bit and the swelling abates, I will get back into the swing of things.

Here is a link to the Rap River Run Blog: http://www.rapriverrun5k.blogspot.com/
There you can follow my progress, along with that of other folks who are training to participate in the race. I hope that those of you who are in the area will join me at the race!

JUST ONE MORE RADIATION TREATMENT TO GO!!! I WILL BE DONE TOMORROW!!! WOO HOO!!!

Emotional and Physical Fatigue...

Well, this last week has been a bit rough both emotionally and physically. Physically, the area that has been radiated has been very sore, achy and (last week) oozing, bleeding, etc. Now, I am just in pain from the swelling around the worst burn under my left arm. It seems to be a bit of edema, and the skin is just cooked. It is difficult to get comfortable, especially when I am trying to rest or sleep. I have not been able to sleep much at night due to the consistent pain.

Emotionally, I have struggled greatly with feelings of loneliness--probably just emotional fatigue. It is a real bitch going to get zapped every day. Anyway, I am almost done...just 3 more radiation treatments to go!

Herceptin...Radiation...fatigue, oh my!

Today, March 11th, was my first combo-day, with Herceptin in the morning and Radiation in the afternoon. Yeah...by the time I made it home and into my bed, I wasn't sure if I could do all of this anymore. I am amazed at how emotionally taxing it is to visit two different oncologists in one day...

I met with the Medical Oncologist (well, his assistant, Nellie, who is great!) this AM before the Herceptin treatment. I told her I have been feeling a bit down...and very tired. Still seem to have some minor edema on occasion (mostly in my ankles), but this has gotten much better since I have been getting regular massages. My red blood cell count is still very low; however, the other components seem to be okay...they don't seem to feel I need any Iron or blood transfusion at this point. I am going to watch this closely...okay, time to eat more meat!

I have developed a small "pouch" of fluid around the incision line on the right side of my chest (not the side that had cancer). It is fluid filled (you can tell by the way it acts--and Nellie checked it to be sure), and does not appear to be anything to be too concerned about at this point. She instructed me to use a warm compress to try to alleviate it. There is no pain from it...just strange having a little pouch of fluid there. She said it could have been caused by "trauma" or a mild injury to the muscle area. Well, I did install a patio last weekend (with concrete pavers), so this could be my own damn fault!!! Oh well, I will watch it and see if we need to do anything further--she said that the surgeon could drain it if absolutely necessary. Let's hope not...I am truly sick of needles...and surgeons.

I asked her about weight loss...I had actually gained around 14 pounds during treatment. She reminded me that this often occurs during Breast Cancer Treatment, and that my metabolism should be getting back to normal soon. I have lost a few pounds, but I am struggling to lose much more...and I have been exercising and reducing my caloric intake. The fluid retention seems to be playing a role, and still, my metabolism is a bit off. Hopefully soon, I will see some of this come off!!!

The Herceptin administration went fine...took just over 1.5 hours...I took no additional medications with it (again), and I had no apparent reactions. Well, I did feel nauseous during and for a while after the administration. Hmmm...very likely mental, but who knows. What is the difference anyway?!?!

After I was done at the Medical Oncology office, I went and pigged out for lunch. Hehehe...trying to lose weight are you??? Try the buffet at Golden Corral. Funny, my thinking was...MEAT. Yep, I had a whole plate of it. Goodness, that was yummy--yes, even the "mystery meat" tasted good. I hadn't been to a Golden Corral for many moons...it is still deliciously nasty--but I stuck with meats and veggies (um, except that last plate--let's just call that my "refined sugars" plate, shall we?)

Then...off to get "zapped!" Radiation went fine as it has been. The folks at Tampa Bay Radiation Oncology are great. I love the two folks I usually see there each day! After they were done, I ventured to ask about my final radiation appointment...the 31st of March, right? NO. The 31st is the last day of "regular radiation," but I get another 5 treatments after that--"boosts!" Oh? April 8th is now my last day...

When they told me this, I fought back tears...emotionally, I just crashed. I drove home...exhausted (mentally and physically), and crawled into my bed. I was a total zombie for most of the night...

Really...really...really ready to be done with all of this treatment...

Week 2 of Radiation is complete!

Wow...so I am now finished with week 2 of my radiation treatment...I think I realized mid-week just how tired the treatments were making me! I've been getting somewhere between 8 and 10 hours of sleep per night (going to bed early and getting up around 7), and I am just plain tired by midday. It really seems to catch up with me by late Wednesday or Thursday morning. I suppose I am a little surprised by this, but when you think about it...I guess logically I shouldn't be!

The doc explained that he would be killing off (not his words) somewhere around 100 lymph nodes...I am certain that my body is royally pissed off by this fact.

I will say (again) that massage is an incredible benefit to me. I have now gone three times in the past few weeks...I afford this by visiting the local massage school (Cortiva Institute). The students are wonderful and the benefits are numerous! I have so little edema in my legs now...and the pains from radiation are greatly reduced after the massages (sadly, I get them right back the next time I have radiation).

Pain from radiation? Not really direct pain, just pain from holding my arms up above my head, completely still in my "mold" for around 10 minutes. I have pain in my neck and shoulders from this...and now the pains are traveling down my arms (feels like pinched nerves). You can try to relax all you want while on that table...getting radiation...it is just not natural to be in that position like that and it pisses off my shoulders and arms. Oh well...

There has been little to no visible effect on my skin on the radiation sites so far...really I just see some minor dryness--especially along the scar line for my mastectomy. I am using aloe vera gel (99% aloe vera...great stuff) every day, sometimes more than once a day, in the general area being "zapped."

So, dry skin, neck and shoulder (and arm) pain, and fatigue...that is where I am at with radiation treatment. I met with the Radiation Doctor on Tuesday...things are going fine. I also got 4 recommendations from him for surgeons who do reconstructive surgery. Will start on that next.

Keeping my chin up and my attitude very positive...

With love,
Tory

Last chemo weekend...and appointment with the Radiology Oncologist today

Well, I had a crappy night's sleep overnight. Just kept waking up every couple of hours to major hotflashes and nightsweats. Hmmm...hopefully these will lessen soon (please).

This round of chemo has been tiring...but no major issues. Very similar to the first round again. No vomiting, no diarrhea. Just some dry mouth and feeling like my head was full of Jello. Oh, and my muscles have been weak as can be. My arms and legs have felt like there is just no strength in them. Hasn't really stopped me much though. I was able to get Sarge up to the Dog Park Friday (wow, I know!), Sunday and Monday evenings. It actually seemed to help my mood to get him out and about, so this was a good thing.

I did have some lovely nausea during the night (overnight) on Sunday and last night. The anti-nausea meds helped, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Food: I am still uber-picky with foods right now, and I have strange cravings still. Luckily, I have been craving things like strawberries and blueberries during the past couple of days--that beats cravings for Taco Bell (thank God!) Since I have managed to actually gain weight during this (steroids--nasty bastards), I am looking again at my food intake and exercise regimen. Starting to get some of my plans in place to get my diet back to "normal" and hopefully get back on a regular schedule with going to the gym. Just a couple more days of feeling "off" from the chemo, and I should be able to hit the gym again. I hope my muscles wake up again...I am wondering what my Red Blood Cell counts look like--probably low. I have been watching my iron and protein intake closely to try and combat some of my muscle fatigue. Sheesh...funny, I have actually been doing better than I thought on iron intake--protein, well, had to look at that one a little more closely.

So, today I go to the Radiation Oncologist. My appointment is at 9:30 AM. I have my usual list of questions typed up and ready to go. I guess I am a little nervous--meeting ANOTHER new doctor, finding out about another procedure/process to go through. What a royal pain in the ass.

My questions:
What time of day will I be getting radiation and for how long each day; how many treatments over how many weeks; what exactly does radiation do; how does one target the areas where the cancer was--lymph nodes, etc.; how do we know exactly what to hit; is it true you cannot radiate the same area twice; how will it affect my other bodily functions/what are the possible side effects; how do we protect other areas of my body, such as my lungs and thyroid; should I avoid or add certain foods/supplements; what kinds of creams or lotions should I use or not; how do I protect my skin; and is there something I should/can do to have a better outcome for my reconstruction that I have planned for later?

Well, I am just glad that Chapter 3 of treatment is on the horizon. Still feeling the effects of Chapter 2, but I am honestly feeling okay.

Can I have my hair back now please? :-)

~Tory

Chemo Weekend #5...tired, sleep, nauseous, hot flashes, chest pains?

Ok, so I am feeling pretty puny tonight. This round reminds me a lot of round #1 where I had this weird ringing in my ears, hot feelings constantly, kinda outer-worldly "I think someone is poisoning me" feeling...hey, someone is!!! Lord do I feel tired and out of sorts!
I am hot one minute, cold the next...and I have this weird feeling like my skin is too big for my body. Weird? Yes, except that my head skin (stay with me) feels too small for my head. No, I am not stoned...and no, I have not taken extra anti-nausea meds today. FYI: most of the cool anti-nausea meds are Atypical-Anti-Psychotics that have the side effect of making one not feel nauseated. Still wonder who figured out that stuff--and how.
Anyway, started getting these weird pains in my chest last night...on the right side (next to my heart). Last night I shrugged it off and went up to McDonald's to get a BigMac (at 10:30 PM). Hey, nothing like "celebrating" a chest pain by eating a BigMac. God, those are disgusting (-ly AMAZING). Yep, disgusting, amazing...incredibly salty. Yeah, polished it off with an Oreo McFlurry. Like I needed that, but hey--I had a serious craving for a BigMac and a McFlurry. These cravings never occur, so hey, why not indulge? Yes, it was late, and yes I went to sleep shortly thereafter. And YES, I had wicked-cool dreams. Well, nightmares actually. Hmmm...
So, got up this AM and went in to work...after my nose stopped bleeding and the worst of the nausea calmed down a bit. On the way up to the office, I realized I had forgotten to take my Claritin...yes, the bone pain was kicking my ass (pelvis, actually), so I stopped at the store and got the 10mg loratadine tabs...
At the office, I started having the chest pains again. In one spot...on the right side, just to the right of my heart. Damn, trying to calm yourself down can be a difficult task in such situations. The pains were intermittent...jabbing, sharp pains. No real rhythm to them...but hey, I put my tail between my legs and decided to head over to the doc just to be sure. Yep, pet me on the head, I actually went to my doc with chest pains.
Hmmm...saw my doc's assistant Nellie again. She figures I am fine...probably more bone pain from the Neulasta...or a pulled muscle, but she sent me over to St. Joseph's for a chest x-ray just to be sure. No call back tonight from the doc, so I am figuring the x-ray was fine or will not be read until tomorrow. Meh, felt okay after the x-ray, still having these weird intermittent pains in my chest though. Feels kinda like a spasm of sorts.
Anyway, I am really tired. I slept some this afternoon, and I am getting ready to head back to bed again now. Thank goodness I am not having a weird craving for some crap fast food tonight! Soup and toast sated me nicely.
Just 17 days until my last chemo...I want this over with NOW. Soon...soon...I am so tired...mentally and physically. I am ready to be done!!!

Ugh...Fatigue!!!

Well, it is Tuesday night...I have traveled for work the past two days. Yesterday to Bradenton and today to Sarasota. I'll tell you, I am one tired girl! I was going to head over to the gym tonight; however, my body is telling me that this is not an option...must rest. So, I will rest. I hate feeling puny!

I AM looking forward to the massage I am scheduled to get tomorrow night! Woo hoo! I found a local massage school that has sessions in the evenings--$30 for an hour-long massage. Plus, there have been multiple folks suggesting massage as a way to help the chemo through your lymph system. Hell, either way, it can't hurt, can it? It has been a long time since I have had a massage, so I am looking very much forward to it!

Well, off to rest up...Tory is a sleepy girl!!!

This week...

Well, this week has gone quite well. I have had some energy and stamina (nice!), and I even took a 3 mile walk on Wednesday. I have been tired in the evenings; however, I have found that if I go to bed at a more reasonable hour, I have a better day overall (fatigue-wise). Really, I am needing no less than 9 hours of sleep a night to feel good and energetic throughout the day. I have always liked/needed lots of sleep anyway, so this really does not surprise me.

The only real issue I have had this week has been my blood pressure. I noticed it seemed high (pressure in my head, headache), and I have been testing it regularly. For me, I almost always run about 120/80...nice and "normal." But I have hit as high as 145/97 this week. There is a certain feeling I just get in my head when that happens, and it was concerning me. I called the doc, and they decided to have me come in just to check me out. Hell, I've had some minor nosebleeds too, so we wanted to make sure there was nothing funky going on.

Anyway, I had my doc's appointment today, and I ended up seeing his Physician's Assistant. She was great...did a good look over and figured out that I had a good sinus infection. We are thinking that the blood pressure thing is something we will monitor for now...does not seem to be that large of an issue. My sinuses on the other hand are a bit out of hand. I have to take Augmentin for 10 days now to clear up this infection...being a "cancer patient" means I can't just refuse the antibiotic--little things can get too big and out of hand. I just hate taking meds unless absolutely necessary, and I guess it is absolutely necessary--oh well. I am keeping away from crowds of people for a few days to help ensure I don't pick up another infection...so...I will focus on getting rid of the sinus infection.

The nosebleeds I am getting seem to be from 2 key things: the Carboplatin causes excessive dryness in my nose and I also get sores from both chemo meds. Hmmm...sores up my nose + excessive dryness...that sounds about right to me. Good lord...remind me not to do this "for fun!" Oh wait, no reminder will be necessary.

The doc went ahead and checked my blood also while I was there...just to see if my platelets were low or if something else was going on. Bloodwork looks fine. Good stuff. I do seem to be retaining some fluids though...my weight had increased 6 pounds since my last visit. Well...probably fluids and some of the junk I have been craving lately. Better get back to eating the good stuff again...like I don't know better. Hell, I have to live a little sometimes! My britches were feeling a bit tight though...alright, I'll do better!!!

Well, I am off to enjoy this sinus headache! Oh...and my head hair is still hanging out there. Doesn't seem to feel like falling out this time. Hmmm...

~Tory

P.S. I have been able to work all day every day this week--except today, had to do some from home to "avoid crowds."

Medical Oncologist Appointment...PET/Bone Scan info...chemo schedule...

This morning, I had my first appointment with Dr. David D. Wright with Gulfcoast Oncology Associates (http://www.gulfcoastoncology.com/) over in Tampa. The office is right next to St. Joseph's Hospital and is not too far from home to make it inconvenient.

I have to say I was horribly anxious last night and before the appointment. I had trouble sleeping...just going over the questions again and again in my head. I had typed them up this time...and added more questions in pen as they came to me.

My friend and fellow Breast Cancer Survivor, Cindy, joined me for the meeting with the doc...she also brought with her a book, Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, and a gift bag with a Breast Cancer Awareness TY Beanie Baby...a cute keychain and a card. I really appreciated her being there...and I love my little gifts!

Dr. Wright is young...like Dr. Cox, and he is very energetic, smiley and kind. He made me comfortable right away, answered all of my questions, and just generally was pleasant. Since I don't really enjoy meeting new doctors...it was nice to again like someone right away (similar to Dr. Cox). I feel like he took a lot of time with me to go over treatment options and the questions I had or ones that came up. Cindy was beneficial to catch some additional questions that I had missed. Thanks Cindy!

Okay, so next week, I will be having the PET and Bone Scan. Dr. Wright's office will set this up and call me to tell me where and when this will occur. They will attempt to get this scheduled somewhere closer to where I live for my convenience. Dr. Wright will discuss with me the results of the tests when they are available.

The "Standard Protocol" for my type of Breast Cancer is TCH, Toxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. I will be receiving the three drugs via my chemo port (on the upper left side of my chest) every 3 weeks for 6 total sessions. After that, the Herceptin will continue to be administered in the same manner, every 3 weeks for an additional 11 doses (17 doses total of Herceptin). Radiation will be with the Radiation Oncologist after the first 6 doses of chemo.

Chemotherapy will begin in 2 weeks, on October 15th. This will give me additional time to recover from the bilateral mastectomy that was just 2 weeks ago...thank goodness! And it will provide some time for the PET/Bone Scan to be completed with results provided to the doc. I will be receiving chemo at the office I was at today, and I toured the area to make sure I would feel comfortable there. It was fine...not dissimilar to the setup my mom has for her dialysis treatments. Luckily, I will only have to be there for 4-4.5 hours every 3 weeks. Heck, mom gets dialysis 3X a week...I think I can handle hanging out there with no problem!

I am having the chemo administered on Thursday afternoons, then I can get a shot on Friday (anti-nausea and other meds if necessary) and recover over the weekend. This way it will not interfere too much with work. The shot may include steroids (although we are going to be very careful with this) Neulasta and/or Procrit. Decadron was also mentioned. I have had interesting responses in the past to some steroid medications, so the doc will be watching this closely. I distinctly remember the last time someone gave me Prednisone...I experienced insomnia for 3 days...AND acute psychosis. Fun stuff! Hell, I managed the psychosis okay...nothing like a break from reality. No one at the UNT Criminal Justice Graduate Studies Department seemed to mind so much...maybe I didn't seem that different than my normal crazy self? Anyway, I told the doc he needed to watch steroid issues with me closely...and he indicated he would be available via phone if needed.

Ok...17 to 18 days after chemo, I will lose my hair. Yes, it will grow back, but ugh. The doc gave me a script for a "hair prosthesis!" That would be insurance jargon for a freakin' wig!!! And that's only the one for my insurance...apparently, "scalp prosthetic" is also used. That one seems wrong to me...my scalp won't fall off...although I didn't ask that question specifically (joking). Well...thank goodness Halloween is coming up...should be no shortage of goofy wigs I can don--for shits and giggles. I will probably get a good one though...we'll see. I have always been so hot natured...lately I have been feeling the effects of cold more...I may just need one. Who knows. I always did like hats...and my sis is a rad knitter. Note to self: find awesome cotton hats...allergic to wool, so wool is out. Maybe Lindsey Lohan (sp?) will date someone (else) who likes good hats this time. Much easier when I can buy hats at Target.

I also have this lidocaine cream that I have to rub on my chemo port prior to my sessions...my mom does this to her wrist before her dialysis...I will get with her for tips on how to best use this stuff. Crazy, the port is just below my skin, and they just go right in with the needle/chemo drugs. EEK. I'll probably need anti-nausea meds just to handle that shit to be honest!

What else? Oh, blood will be checked at each session, prior to starting...and I meet with the doc prior to each session. AND, the doc will be doing the genetic BRCA testing. It is covered by my insurance because I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

OH...and if you are wondering how I will feel after chemo: Doc says I will feel like I have a mild hangover the day after chemo...along with a couple of days after that. He also indicated that nausea is an issue...although I kind of figured this...and when the nurse gave me a script for 3 different prescription medications for nausea, I could tell they were serious!!! Apparently, they will also be giving me anti-nausea meds with the chemo meds as well. I am thinking that someone may have experienced nausea in the past...maybe they were just covering their bases? ;-)

I think that is all for now...although my brain is mush from today. Heck, I had 2 hardcore naps after the appointment. Even with that damn Starbucks fix! Note to self: buy Starbucks store. Give free coffee to everyone on 9/11.

With love,
The boobless one in West Central Florida...the one searching the internet for a hair prosthesis...really? OH shit could I have fun with some wigs...
~Tory :-)

P.S. Doc says I look really strong and vibrant...and that I will be just fine. I know I will. I just like hearing a younger man tell me I look strong and vibrant!