Chemo Haze Weekend...still some side effects....

Well, I still had quite a time this past weekend with some of the nausea from chemo. Hell, I was up puking Sunday night for a while. That was just so much fun, lets not do it again, please!!!

Funny, I really didn't have much nausea during last week...I just trudged through work and chores and all of that fun stuff...and then wham-o...bring on feeling like crap during the weekend. Really sucked. Oh well, lots of rest...and had to put off going to the gym again.

These hot flashes and night sweats are "for the birds." I can't keep it straight what my apparent temperature is during my "awake" hours. The hot flashes are super fast onset and are intense...nothing I am doing seems to help with them, so I am just dealing with it. Hopefully they will subside soon. Night sweats...yeah, I've had to change into new bedclothes a couple of times overnight recently. AND I even had to change my beanie once or twice (it was totally soaked from head sweat!!!) Sheesh...

Well, I am now off of the antibiotics I have been taking for about 2 months (wow!) Sad, I have enjoyed taking them because they were the only thing clearing up the darn zits on my face!!! I have more acne as an adult than I ever had as a teenager. What is up with that??? I guess my body will be happier without the amoxicillin...let's just hope I don't have too much of a time coming off of them! Soon I will not have to take the diflucan either...yay, no more systemic yeast infections please!

Oooh...I had to shave my legs yesterday...first time in months. Well, it was actually just my ankles I had to shave...surprising how quickly that area grew in. Don't really know where it came from, because my nails all broke off last week...and none of the other hair on my body (that was lost) seems to be making much of an appearance. Weird.

Well, hopefully this nausea and puny-feeling bit will be over very soon...I am just about done with it. Ok, there, I am done with it!

Love,
Tory

Last chemo weekend...and appointment with the Radiology Oncologist today

Well, I had a crappy night's sleep overnight. Just kept waking up every couple of hours to major hotflashes and nightsweats. Hmmm...hopefully these will lessen soon (please).

This round of chemo has been tiring...but no major issues. Very similar to the first round again. No vomiting, no diarrhea. Just some dry mouth and feeling like my head was full of Jello. Oh, and my muscles have been weak as can be. My arms and legs have felt like there is just no strength in them. Hasn't really stopped me much though. I was able to get Sarge up to the Dog Park Friday (wow, I know!), Sunday and Monday evenings. It actually seemed to help my mood to get him out and about, so this was a good thing.

I did have some lovely nausea during the night (overnight) on Sunday and last night. The anti-nausea meds helped, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Food: I am still uber-picky with foods right now, and I have strange cravings still. Luckily, I have been craving things like strawberries and blueberries during the past couple of days--that beats cravings for Taco Bell (thank God!) Since I have managed to actually gain weight during this (steroids--nasty bastards), I am looking again at my food intake and exercise regimen. Starting to get some of my plans in place to get my diet back to "normal" and hopefully get back on a regular schedule with going to the gym. Just a couple more days of feeling "off" from the chemo, and I should be able to hit the gym again. I hope my muscles wake up again...I am wondering what my Red Blood Cell counts look like--probably low. I have been watching my iron and protein intake closely to try and combat some of my muscle fatigue. Sheesh...funny, I have actually been doing better than I thought on iron intake--protein, well, had to look at that one a little more closely.

So, today I go to the Radiation Oncologist. My appointment is at 9:30 AM. I have my usual list of questions typed up and ready to go. I guess I am a little nervous--meeting ANOTHER new doctor, finding out about another procedure/process to go through. What a royal pain in the ass.

My questions:
What time of day will I be getting radiation and for how long each day; how many treatments over how many weeks; what exactly does radiation do; how does one target the areas where the cancer was--lymph nodes, etc.; how do we know exactly what to hit; is it true you cannot radiate the same area twice; how will it affect my other bodily functions/what are the possible side effects; how do we protect other areas of my body, such as my lungs and thyroid; should I avoid or add certain foods/supplements; what kinds of creams or lotions should I use or not; how do I protect my skin; and is there something I should/can do to have a better outcome for my reconstruction that I have planned for later?

Well, I am just glad that Chapter 3 of treatment is on the horizon. Still feeling the effects of Chapter 2, but I am honestly feeling okay.

Can I have my hair back now please? :-)

~Tory

Chemo Weekend #5...tired, sleep, nauseous, hot flashes, chest pains?

Ok, so I am feeling pretty puny tonight. This round reminds me a lot of round #1 where I had this weird ringing in my ears, hot feelings constantly, kinda outer-worldly "I think someone is poisoning me" feeling...hey, someone is!!! Lord do I feel tired and out of sorts!
I am hot one minute, cold the next...and I have this weird feeling like my skin is too big for my body. Weird? Yes, except that my head skin (stay with me) feels too small for my head. No, I am not stoned...and no, I have not taken extra anti-nausea meds today. FYI: most of the cool anti-nausea meds are Atypical-Anti-Psychotics that have the side effect of making one not feel nauseated. Still wonder who figured out that stuff--and how.
Anyway, started getting these weird pains in my chest last night...on the right side (next to my heart). Last night I shrugged it off and went up to McDonald's to get a BigMac (at 10:30 PM). Hey, nothing like "celebrating" a chest pain by eating a BigMac. God, those are disgusting (-ly AMAZING). Yep, disgusting, amazing...incredibly salty. Yeah, polished it off with an Oreo McFlurry. Like I needed that, but hey--I had a serious craving for a BigMac and a McFlurry. These cravings never occur, so hey, why not indulge? Yes, it was late, and yes I went to sleep shortly thereafter. And YES, I had wicked-cool dreams. Well, nightmares actually. Hmmm...
So, got up this AM and went in to work...after my nose stopped bleeding and the worst of the nausea calmed down a bit. On the way up to the office, I realized I had forgotten to take my Claritin...yes, the bone pain was kicking my ass (pelvis, actually), so I stopped at the store and got the 10mg loratadine tabs...
At the office, I started having the chest pains again. In one spot...on the right side, just to the right of my heart. Damn, trying to calm yourself down can be a difficult task in such situations. The pains were intermittent...jabbing, sharp pains. No real rhythm to them...but hey, I put my tail between my legs and decided to head over to the doc just to be sure. Yep, pet me on the head, I actually went to my doc with chest pains.
Hmmm...saw my doc's assistant Nellie again. She figures I am fine...probably more bone pain from the Neulasta...or a pulled muscle, but she sent me over to St. Joseph's for a chest x-ray just to be sure. No call back tonight from the doc, so I am figuring the x-ray was fine or will not be read until tomorrow. Meh, felt okay after the x-ray, still having these weird intermittent pains in my chest though. Feels kinda like a spasm of sorts.
Anyway, I am really tired. I slept some this afternoon, and I am getting ready to head back to bed again now. Thank goodness I am not having a weird craving for some crap fast food tonight! Soup and toast sated me nicely.
Just 17 days until my last chemo...I want this over with NOW. Soon...soon...I am so tired...mentally and physically. I am ready to be done!!!

Chemo: Part 4 of 6 Today! I am 2/3 done!!!

Well, I woke up feeling a bit better this morning. I have been taking DayQuil and NyQuil pills during the past couple of days to help some of these apparent cold symptoms. They have been helping--the NyQuil has especially helped with me getting some good sleep at night.

I made it over to Tampa for my appointment, and the doc pulled me back before my bloodwork had been started. Apparently, there was a huge backup with getting bloodwork done, and he was ready for me! We talked for a while. He informed me that I DO NOT have the BRCA genetic mutation to blame for my Breast Cancer...hmmm, very interesting stuff. This is good news for my sis though...and that makes me feel pretty darn good! We also discussed my current infection--he gave me a look over and prescribed me with Augmentin to start after I am done with the Z-Pack. I also will have refills on this script, since I seem to be susceptible right now to these types of infections. I told him that this seemed so strange, as it started in my nose and my chest...then moved into my sinuses. Weirdness. Oh well, I am sure it will be fine...I am just ready to not be sick on top of, well, being chemo-sick!!!

Then we discussed my getting the massages (he gave me the note I needed)--I told him how helpful it was with my retaining water...worked better than limiting sodium AND exercise. Hell, the massages seemed to move out the excess fluids fairly quickly. I also told him that the school may be interested in working with their group somehow...and that they may be contacting him directly. He indicated that there were some folks that used to come to the office (before they had changed companies) and provide massages there to the patients. Hmmm...we'll see what they do with it, if anything!

We discussed travel again...and he said he was glad I was traveling...to call if I needed anything. And I (again) reminded him about the Claritin helping Neulasta bone pain. I told him that I started taking it BEFORE the shot last time, and I had very little pain this last time. He said he has recommended it to at least one other with some success...GOOD! I wish someone would figure out the connection there!!!

Anyway, I went back to get my bloodwork in the chemo administration area. They jacked in to my port (no, I did not look this time--that is just too gross!) and had the results within a few minutes. So, my bloodwork looked VERY GOOD...no issues at all...and I had no fever. Okay. Chemo #4 was about to get underway!!!

I didn't have any strange reactions this time...haven't really had any issues with it since the first one, so it went fairly smoothly. I didn't even get as loopy as I had last time from the Ativan shot...although I did get fairly nauseous during the last 45 minutes or so, during the Herceptin administration. Nothing major, just some mild nausea. Strange...I felt monsterously hungry along with the nausea.

Well, after about 4 hours of chemo, I was free to go...after they checked my blood pressure and weight. Blood pressure was a bit high (steroids, maybe?) and my weight is back down a bit (less fluid retention, maybe?) Next "appointment" is my shot of Neulasta tomorrow afternoon...then chemo on January 7th at 9:30 AM.

Becky came to get me tonight...although I felt like I could drive home this time, so I asked if she would follow me. I was a little tired...but I seemed fine--I was grateful she followed me home in case I had any problems! My sister rocks! Thanks Beck!

Well, after a nice helping of Becky's turkey meatloaf, some hummus and some Alaskan Truffles...I had to have some pizza. I ordered some and chowed down. Good lord! Haven't been that hungry in a while! Hmmm...don't even feel overstuffed. And I just noticed my cold symptoms are a bit better tonight...

Let's see what tomorrow holds!

With love,
Tory

Feelin' better...

Well, as is the typical pattern, I had about 5 days of feeling very puny after my chemo session. Honestly, it  was more like 4 days...but it sure did feel longer.

Yesterday was pretty good; however, I had some stomach issues (nausea, a little bit of vomiting), but nothing that was intense or uncontrollable (with the anti-nausea meds and/or Gaviscon). My brain was still a bit fuzzy yesterday, and I am still finding trouble locating words at times to make my point or describe something...but this is much better than the first few days post chemo.

I find that I am retaining a bit of water...my clothes feel a bit tight around my waist and thighs. This started to wane a bit starting last night, and I know it will get better today and tomorrow with more movement. Hell, I spent a few days in bed guys!

Anyway, my sister buzzed my hair down to 1/2 an inch. Well...if you can call it hair. It really looks like fine baby hair. Funny, the feeling of the wind or a breeze on your scalp is not one I am used to. I am taking the time to notice this sort of thing and just feel it. Feels pretty cool--and, well, cool temperature wise too!

I did some yoga yesterday AM and some stretches this AM...feels really really good!

Well, I am off to career-land! Hope you are all enjoying your day...on purpose! We have so much to be thankful for!!!

~Tory

Thanksgiving Chemo-Daze...

So my doc said I was a brave "nut" for getting my chemo treatment the day before Thanksgiving. He is correct, I am a nut...but that is something that is fairly well-accepted and known, right?

Becky and I got up very early Thanksgiving morning to do the St. Petersburg Times Turkey Trot. She ran the 5K, and I did the 1 mile fun run/walk with her afterward. I did okay...but I think my legs were jelly after we were done. I was ready to go home and nap after that! Luckily, I had been ambitious the night before, and made up all of the dishes for our Thanksgiving meal. I don't know...just felt "speedy" and like getting it done and out of the way. Makes for a much more enjoyable day when you just have to throw things into the oven and wait!

After a nap, Becky and I got up and enjoyed our meal outside on the front patio. It was nice! Food was great, and I was stuffed. I was extremely exhausted after this, so I ended up going to bed around 8:30 PM. Weird, I was feeling a bit dizzy, somewhat nauseous and just whipped. I realized that I had not taken my suggested doses of Zofran and/or Compazine (for nausea), so I took both before bed. My night of sleep was fitful, and I woke up numerous times feeling dizzy and nauseous. I had lots of issues with reflux too, so it was not the most pleasant of nights...

Friday AM consisted of my getting up and going to Tampa for my Neulasta shot. My brain was so mushy that I missed my exit off the highway and had to loop back around. Kind of felt like an extreme head-cold...or maybe the flu...when you are just in a sort of haze, bouncing from one thing to the next. I guess "chemo brain" is one way of describing it...I certainly had trouble carrying on intelligent or even coherent conversations. Got my Starbucks after the shot...and had a wicked craving for tacos--and I hate Taco Bell, but apparently I had to have some...hmmm. 3 crispy tacos later, Tory was sated and happy.

I napped on and off for the rest of the day Friday...just felt shitty. I could not focus on anything, I felt nauseous, dizzy, pissy, out-of-sorts...meh. I did manage to get Sarge up to the Dog Park in the evening...don't know how I did it, but I did. Luckily he was quick to tire of the park today...so we were only there for about 30 minutes or so. More sleep after this.

Today I got up and felt a bit better than yesterday, but still dizzy and nauseous. The nausea is manageable for me...I think I could puke if I concentrated on it...but why do that? I had to keep reminding myself to take the Compazine every 4-6 hours to keep the weirdness at bay. I have been doing laundry on and off today...in between some awesome naps! Also felt like getting out and picking up my prescriptions, my Starbucks, a sandwich...and some well-advised Ginger-Ale. When I was out, I started feeling better and better. Still "off" and a bit out of sorts, but physically and mentally better. I did find that I had to make myself pay very good attention while driving today. So...I just stayed off of the heavily travelled roads and focused.

I have been taking Claritin for the bone pain (Neulasta)...I started it one hour before the actual shot was given. This seems to have kept a lot of the sharp pains down to a more manageable level. I have had some sharper, jabbing pains today in my knees and hips...but they are quick...fleeting...so this I can manage.

My nose started in with the bleeding earlier today. Not too bad, just some bloody snot. My mouth is a bit dry, but not terrible...and I am making myself drink as much water as I can possibly manage. I will say that food is not enticing to me...I have intermittent and strange cravings, and I cannot stand to think of anything sweet today. Leftovers make me gag right now...I haven't even touched my favorite pumpkin pie since Thanksgiving day--freaky! Bland was the word of the morning...then a sub this afternoon with lots of spicy mustard and juicy ham. I don't know...none of it makes sense. At least I can eat and keep it in me!

Overall, this round is a butt-kicker--similar to the first round. The second one seemed better to me. I have all of these things I would like to do...play in the garden, straighten up some messes I have around the house, even sit down to watch a movie...but I cannot seem to focus much or for very long on any one thing. Oh well, it will be over with soon. Just have to rest when my body says to rest...and I am.

Well, enough rambling for now...
~Tory

This week so far...post chemo session 1 of 6, week 2

Ok, so last weekend was not too bad...I was just tired. I was looking forward to being back at work and getting my schedule back in order. I was also looking forward to having my sis, Becky back in town.

I worked all week, at the office, with the exception of Thursday. That was exactly 2 weeks after the 1st chemo, and I felt so freakin' tired I couldn't hardly see straight. I went in for the usual bloodwork Thursday AM, with the intention of going to the office after, but by the time I got out of there, I was pooped. So, I drove home to take a nap...I had intended on sleeping for an hour or so then doing some work remotely from home. I ended up sleeping a full 4 hours...then doing some work from home!!! I guess I really was tired!

That night, I felt a little nauseous. I had taken the last of the diflucan the day before, an I needed to pick up the refill...so I did not fill it until later in the evening. I did take the dog for a long walk in the heat...and we played at the park for a while (he had me fetching the ball, actually)...so I wasn't sure what exactly "caused" me to feel nauseous. I ended up taking some of the anti-nausea meds...and the diflucan...and I felt a little better by the time I fell asleep (around midnight, unfortunately).

Well, Friday started off okay--I did notice my hair was starting to come out (on day 15) a few strands at a time (I'd actually been kind of obsessively picking at my hair to see if it would come out....it surely did start then!) I went up to the office, felt okay, but after I ate (we had a potluck gathering)...the gas, bloating and nausea hit again. Bummer. I hung out in the bathroom for a while and missed the ladies at work giving me some very cool hats! They ended up putting them on my desk, they had assumed I did not feel well (oh, they were right). Funny, I didn't throw up...haven't but one time in the first week...I just farted and sweated a LOT. As my Nana would have said, "A lot of wind, but no storm." Hmmm. Glad I had some of the anti-nausea meds with me. Took one, felt better within an hour.

Friday night was okay, I just had one hell of a headache--mostly a scalpache to be honest. Felt more like a surface or tension headache than a deep headache. Maybe something to do with my hair coming out. Or maybe I need to poke a hole in my skull and let the demons out?

Saturday (this) morning, I got up early and felt a wee bit ambitious. Still fatigued...but got some chores done. Felt good to get more things off of the to-do list. Again, I felt a bit nauseous around mid-day (4 hours after I ate this time...), so I took some compazine. Felt fine within an hour or so. Strange. Hair is coming out more rapidly now...all over. My hair is so thick though, you cannot really tell yet. I was thinking I would have my sister use the clippers on my hair--go for the buzz cut, but earlier today, I felt like I might not do that.

Tonight, I am feeling like I could have her do it soon...I don't know why I am waivering on this so much. I got some more hats (on clearance) at Target...they are fun...I am leaning more toward doing the hat and scarf thing than the wig thing...I just don't like wigs. Hell, it may just not be for me. I am totally and completely confused by wool hats being sold in Florida...okay, one or two...but whole displays? Wool?

I have that damn headache again tonight...I took some advil last night and it did not help, so I think I will pass on it tonight...no sense taking more crap if it won't do anything anyway.

Anyway, it has been a decent week overall...nothing unmanageable. I am having to drink lots of Mylanta every night (and sometimes during the day)...because the reflux and heartburn is in high-gear...daily and nightly.

Strange to be losing my hair though...I am still obsessively pulling some out every little while or so--it is kind of...fun...in an oddly psychotic way. Let me be clear...it does not hurt. It just comes out very easily. Hmmmm, will someone please make me stop pulling out my hair now?

I have been thinking about going back to the gym...or at least exercising more. I miss the gym...I just wonder if I have the stamina. I think I am healed up enough from the mastectomy to get back into the gym routine, so we shall see. Maybe some more walks once it finally cools off? I've been reading some articles and other blogs about folks' experiences relating to exercise and chemo. I will just have to figure out a way to manage the stamina/fatigue issues somehow.

With love, from the boobless and soon-to-be-hairless one in West Central Florida,
Tory

Medical Oncologist Appointment...PET/Bone Scan info...chemo schedule...

This morning, I had my first appointment with Dr. David D. Wright with Gulfcoast Oncology Associates (http://www.gulfcoastoncology.com/) over in Tampa. The office is right next to St. Joseph's Hospital and is not too far from home to make it inconvenient.

I have to say I was horribly anxious last night and before the appointment. I had trouble sleeping...just going over the questions again and again in my head. I had typed them up this time...and added more questions in pen as they came to me.

My friend and fellow Breast Cancer Survivor, Cindy, joined me for the meeting with the doc...she also brought with her a book, Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, and a gift bag with a Breast Cancer Awareness TY Beanie Baby...a cute keychain and a card. I really appreciated her being there...and I love my little gifts!

Dr. Wright is young...like Dr. Cox, and he is very energetic, smiley and kind. He made me comfortable right away, answered all of my questions, and just generally was pleasant. Since I don't really enjoy meeting new doctors...it was nice to again like someone right away (similar to Dr. Cox). I feel like he took a lot of time with me to go over treatment options and the questions I had or ones that came up. Cindy was beneficial to catch some additional questions that I had missed. Thanks Cindy!

Okay, so next week, I will be having the PET and Bone Scan. Dr. Wright's office will set this up and call me to tell me where and when this will occur. They will attempt to get this scheduled somewhere closer to where I live for my convenience. Dr. Wright will discuss with me the results of the tests when they are available.

The "Standard Protocol" for my type of Breast Cancer is TCH, Toxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. I will be receiving the three drugs via my chemo port (on the upper left side of my chest) every 3 weeks for 6 total sessions. After that, the Herceptin will continue to be administered in the same manner, every 3 weeks for an additional 11 doses (17 doses total of Herceptin). Radiation will be with the Radiation Oncologist after the first 6 doses of chemo.

Chemotherapy will begin in 2 weeks, on October 15th. This will give me additional time to recover from the bilateral mastectomy that was just 2 weeks ago...thank goodness! And it will provide some time for the PET/Bone Scan to be completed with results provided to the doc. I will be receiving chemo at the office I was at today, and I toured the area to make sure I would feel comfortable there. It was fine...not dissimilar to the setup my mom has for her dialysis treatments. Luckily, I will only have to be there for 4-4.5 hours every 3 weeks. Heck, mom gets dialysis 3X a week...I think I can handle hanging out there with no problem!

I am having the chemo administered on Thursday afternoons, then I can get a shot on Friday (anti-nausea and other meds if necessary) and recover over the weekend. This way it will not interfere too much with work. The shot may include steroids (although we are going to be very careful with this) Neulasta and/or Procrit. Decadron was also mentioned. I have had interesting responses in the past to some steroid medications, so the doc will be watching this closely. I distinctly remember the last time someone gave me Prednisone...I experienced insomnia for 3 days...AND acute psychosis. Fun stuff! Hell, I managed the psychosis okay...nothing like a break from reality. No one at the UNT Criminal Justice Graduate Studies Department seemed to mind so much...maybe I didn't seem that different than my normal crazy self? Anyway, I told the doc he needed to watch steroid issues with me closely...and he indicated he would be available via phone if needed.

Ok...17 to 18 days after chemo, I will lose my hair. Yes, it will grow back, but ugh. The doc gave me a script for a "hair prosthesis!" That would be insurance jargon for a freakin' wig!!! And that's only the one for my insurance...apparently, "scalp prosthetic" is also used. That one seems wrong to me...my scalp won't fall off...although I didn't ask that question specifically (joking). Well...thank goodness Halloween is coming up...should be no shortage of goofy wigs I can don--for shits and giggles. I will probably get a good one though...we'll see. I have always been so hot natured...lately I have been feeling the effects of cold more...I may just need one. Who knows. I always did like hats...and my sis is a rad knitter. Note to self: find awesome cotton hats...allergic to wool, so wool is out. Maybe Lindsey Lohan (sp?) will date someone (else) who likes good hats this time. Much easier when I can buy hats at Target.

I also have this lidocaine cream that I have to rub on my chemo port prior to my sessions...my mom does this to her wrist before her dialysis...I will get with her for tips on how to best use this stuff. Crazy, the port is just below my skin, and they just go right in with the needle/chemo drugs. EEK. I'll probably need anti-nausea meds just to handle that shit to be honest!

What else? Oh, blood will be checked at each session, prior to starting...and I meet with the doc prior to each session. AND, the doc will be doing the genetic BRCA testing. It is covered by my insurance because I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

OH...and if you are wondering how I will feel after chemo: Doc says I will feel like I have a mild hangover the day after chemo...along with a couple of days after that. He also indicated that nausea is an issue...although I kind of figured this...and when the nurse gave me a script for 3 different prescription medications for nausea, I could tell they were serious!!! Apparently, they will also be giving me anti-nausea meds with the chemo meds as well. I am thinking that someone may have experienced nausea in the past...maybe they were just covering their bases? ;-)

I think that is all for now...although my brain is mush from today. Heck, I had 2 hardcore naps after the appointment. Even with that damn Starbucks fix! Note to self: buy Starbucks store. Give free coffee to everyone on 9/11.

With love,
The boobless one in West Central Florida...the one searching the internet for a hair prosthesis...really? OH shit could I have fun with some wigs...
~Tory :-)

P.S. Doc says I look really strong and vibrant...and that I will be just fine. I know I will. I just like hearing a younger man tell me I look strong and vibrant!