Finally Done with Radiation!

Well, it has been a while since I have written, but I finished Radiation on April 8th. My Radiation Therapists were so great to me...even gave me donuts to celebrate...got a cute certificate and everything! I gave them a card...they really made the whole experience a better one (it could have been even more taxing with staff who were unhappy, sullen or whatever). It was so nice to have cheerful, patient, knowledgeable folks working with me each day during the process!

Thank you Tampa Bay Radiation Oncology staff! You guys are the BEST!

Just ONE more.....

Last night was fairly restless--Percoset helps with pain and mood, but it really jacked with the quality of my sleep. Wow...cool dreams though. Nice and bizarre!

The pain from my burns is still very much there, but when I am able to take Percoset, it helps a lot. The swelling under my arm is very slightly reduced...this apparently will take some time to go down. Ugh, I am sure my caffeine intake is not helping either the pain or the swelling for that matter.

Getting into position today for the targeted radiation treatment was a bit easier, thank goodness. The radiation therapists are such good folks--even saved me a doughnut from their lunch! Yummy Krispy Kreme doughnut!

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I am blogging for the Youth and Family Alternatives Rap River Run 5K Race. It is held in June, and I decided a while back to start training to participate. I agreed to track my progress with training for my first 5K, and I blog each Wednesday night with my weekly updates. I really couldn't contribute much this week--I have not been able to do any exercise for about a week and a half. Oh well, when the burns heal up a bit and the swelling abates, I will get back into the swing of things.

Here is a link to the Rap River Run Blog: http://www.rapriverrun5k.blogspot.com/
There you can follow my progress, along with that of other folks who are training to participate in the race. I hope that those of you who are in the area will join me at the race!

JUST ONE MORE RADIATION TREATMENT TO GO!!! I WILL BE DONE TOMORROW!!! WOO HOO!!!

Bring in the Percoset, please!

I did not sleep much last night, just could not quiet my mind or find a spot that was comfortable to my left arm or chest area. These burns are a bitch!

I decided I would ask the doc for some Percoset, as Tylenol, Advil and Vicodin have not done a damn thing for the pain (or swelling for that matter!) I could probably deal with the pain...but emotionally I have been just worn out. The pain is making me emotionally worse and vice versa.

Getting into position for my radiation treatment was a grueling experience today. Lifting my left arm above my head with cracked and burned skin...sheesh! You know, I have chatted with two other breast cancer survivors who endured radiation...and neither of them had burns like I have. Lucky ladies! Ugh, if ONLY!!!

Anyway, the doc was kind enough to prescribe some Percoset, and it is helping. If nothing else, it is helping my mood. Oh, and it does cut the pain down too.

Just 2 more...I am even beginning to cheer up with the thought of being done!

Emotional and Physical Fatigue...

Well, this last week has been a bit rough both emotionally and physically. Physically, the area that has been radiated has been very sore, achy and (last week) oozing, bleeding, etc. Now, I am just in pain from the swelling around the worst burn under my left arm. It seems to be a bit of edema, and the skin is just cooked. It is difficult to get comfortable, especially when I am trying to rest or sleep. I have not been able to sleep much at night due to the consistent pain.

Emotionally, I have struggled greatly with feelings of loneliness--probably just emotional fatigue. It is a real bitch going to get zapped every day. Anyway, I am almost done...just 3 more radiation treatments to go!

Last "Regular Radiation..." targeted begins tomorrow...

So, today I had my last "regular radiation" treatment. Tomorrow I begin my "targeted" or "boost" radiation of just the scar line. I learned today that the difference is that protons are aimed at the area (instead of electrons as have been the case with regular radiation). Hmmm...interesting.

Well, my skin is fairly trashed at this point. This is the latest pic of the burns under my arm. Yes, it hurts a bit...although I am still numb at the worst part...it is just the area beneath it that hurts (there is some swelling there).

I also took some pictures of the radiation machine...the "Linear Accelerator." The machine is the one I have been visiting every day. I also took a pic of my view during part of treatment.

Working...shirtless

Today I had an early Radiation Doc appointment--my usual Tuesday meeting with him and then he had to "mark me up" for the targeted/boost radiation treatment set to begin on Thursday, April 1, 2010. The doc looked at my skin and offere to let me have a "rest" from radiation for a couple of days. I asked if that meant they would make me get them later, yes it would, so I said, "No, just treat me." Hell, I was so upset when I learned that my last day of radiation was NOT March 31st, but April 8th...I can not stand to go beyond that dammit!!!

Yes, my skin is fried. There are at least 5 different spots with 2nd degree burns or worse, and one area (under my arm) is constantly "draining." The stinging...this truly sucks!

Anyway, I was "marked up," then treated, then set up for targeted radiation. Thankfully, I only had to have two of the usual four series of treatments today--we are done with treating the super-clavicle area (last one was Monday). What was really fun today was that I could not apply any of the Silvedene cream to my skin until after treatment. Normally, I put it on in the morning (after my shower) and then in the evenings and before bed. However, because I cannot apply it within 4 hours before being treated, and with such an early appointment today, I went in with having only applying aloe gel. Don't get me wrong, aloe gel is great, but it really does very little for me at this point. Plus, when it dries, it has the tendency to make your skin a bit tight and dry.

Well, because I was unable to wear any top that even somewhat resembled "business casual," I opted to head home after the appointment and do some work remotely...and shirtless. The shirt I wore to treatment had to be soaked so the stains would not set in...

My last "regular" radiation treatment is tomorrow...then five days of targeted treatment along the scar line. Luckily, the scar line is not burned up too badly, yet.

Cancer Impatient...

It has been a little while since I have written much about my ongoing treatment. Honestly, I have been so busy with many different things, and, I suppose, trying not to devote too much mental energy to my being a "cancer patient."  I have been going to work each day, then dragging myself to Tampa to get radiation treatment every afternoon. After that, I have been going to the dog park with Sarge and/or to the gym to work out.

Last week, when I saw the Radiation Oncologist, I complained that my skin was beginning to crack, peel and sting. He prescribed Silvedene cream. What a god-send! That stuff really makes it feel better; however, it does not stop me from continuing to be burned worse and worse. By the end of last week, I had the Radiation Therapists look and tell me if I was okay. Sadly, they said that many folks get much worse burns than me--so I guess I am okay. Oh, the doc also prescribed Flexaril for the spasms in my neck (it helped...and I have taken it twice; however, it makes me feel so crappy the next day, I probably will not take it again.) The neck spasms are not as bad lately though...so I will endure.

Today, while getting ready for work, I noticed that my major sores from radiation (under my arm, on my upper back, and around my collarbone) were oozing..and some spots spontaneously bled when I lifted my arm. That was lovely--I noticed the shirt I had worn to bed had moisture and/or blood from the radiatedd skin as well. So, I opted to go without a bra/cami, and I put on a larger cotton shirt. Then, I tied a big scarf around my neck and let it drape over my chest (to cover my lack of breasts and any possible bleeding or oozing that might seep through my shirt.) So--I was set, and I went off to work for the day.

While heading to Tampa for radiation treatment, I began to feel a bit gloomy. My skin felt so tight, and various spots were stinging like crazy. The radiation therapist looked at my skin again...and he had the nurse come look to see if we needed to forego treatment for the day. She gave me instructions to use Domeboro as a compress on my burns, especially where the skin had "broken down." I went ahead with treatment though...and I fought tears.

I suppose I could describe the feeling I had as loneliness. Hell, you are laying there, "receiving" radiation from this large machine hovering over you, you are alone, in a large room--warning lights flash to ensure no one else enters the room and is subject to the radiation. And when your skin is already so burned...tight and stinging...you choose to forge ahead and subject yourself to even more...

I cried a bit while driving to the pharmacy. I went from sad to mad...I guess I was mad at the world...for not having a true "partner" in all of this, for not having someone to care for me...then I got mad at myself for being such a good little "victim."

So, at home, I applied the compress--that stung like hell, then I slathered on some Silvedene cream. That provided some relief--thank goodness.

Needless to say, I did not make it up to the gym. I had to call and cancel my appointment with the trainer. Oh well, that would have been a bit unfortunate anyway...sweat, blood and oozing sores. No one likes to see that at their local gym...

Some pics of my burns...yes, I look really happy! ;-)

The white gunk is the Silvedene cream.

Armpit (left) and shoulder (right).

Radiation Burns...

Well, here is a photo of some of the burns I have from radiation treatment. With about 1 week of regular radiation to go, there are some areas where my skin is breaking down (armpit--ouch!) It is a bit painful in some spots, but nothing unmanageable!

Three more weeks of Radiation!

Well, as of today (after today's radiation treatment, actually), I have 3 more weeks of radiation treatment. The final "regular" radiation is on March 31st...then I have 5 "boosts" that will target the area along the scar line. So...the last day should be April 8th.

So far, I have had 3.5 weeks of radiation. I have developed a mild "tan" to my skin on the areas they are targeting. I am using aloe gel (bottled and purified) and/or aloe directly from the plant (just cut off the outside and smear it on!) The aloe seems to be helping, but my skin is still tender and dry where they are treating. I have a couple of small sores in the general area where I have scratched some tender skin...it just opens up and bleeds quite easily. Fun fun!

I don't know if it is the position they have me in each day or the radiation itself, but I have had some lovely neck and shoulder-area muscle spasms. These usually get worse after each radiation treatment...and I have had neck and shoulder pain just about daily. During the weekends, I seem to get a bit of a reprieve...and just after I get my Wednesday massage I do much better. The massage I had last week (March 10th) loosened me up all the way through the 16th...I had no pain until that afternoon! Yay massages!

Really, radiation is just a pain to have to endure each day (an inconvenience). You get used to it...it becomes part of your daily routine...and it becomes less emotional the more you go...well, as long as there is an end in sight! I will say that having fun, happy and upbeat folks at the radiation center makes a huge difference...they make me laugh, and they make me as comfortable as possible...kudos to them!

Herceptin...Radiation...fatigue, oh my!

Today, March 11th, was my first combo-day, with Herceptin in the morning and Radiation in the afternoon. Yeah...by the time I made it home and into my bed, I wasn't sure if I could do all of this anymore. I am amazed at how emotionally taxing it is to visit two different oncologists in one day...

I met with the Medical Oncologist (well, his assistant, Nellie, who is great!) this AM before the Herceptin treatment. I told her I have been feeling a bit down...and very tired. Still seem to have some minor edema on occasion (mostly in my ankles), but this has gotten much better since I have been getting regular massages. My red blood cell count is still very low; however, the other components seem to be okay...they don't seem to feel I need any Iron or blood transfusion at this point. I am going to watch this closely...okay, time to eat more meat!

I have developed a small "pouch" of fluid around the incision line on the right side of my chest (not the side that had cancer). It is fluid filled (you can tell by the way it acts--and Nellie checked it to be sure), and does not appear to be anything to be too concerned about at this point. She instructed me to use a warm compress to try to alleviate it. There is no pain from it...just strange having a little pouch of fluid there. She said it could have been caused by "trauma" or a mild injury to the muscle area. Well, I did install a patio last weekend (with concrete pavers), so this could be my own damn fault!!! Oh well, I will watch it and see if we need to do anything further--she said that the surgeon could drain it if absolutely necessary. Let's hope not...I am truly sick of needles...and surgeons.

I asked her about weight loss...I had actually gained around 14 pounds during treatment. She reminded me that this often occurs during Breast Cancer Treatment, and that my metabolism should be getting back to normal soon. I have lost a few pounds, but I am struggling to lose much more...and I have been exercising and reducing my caloric intake. The fluid retention seems to be playing a role, and still, my metabolism is a bit off. Hopefully soon, I will see some of this come off!!!

The Herceptin administration went fine...took just over 1.5 hours...I took no additional medications with it (again), and I had no apparent reactions. Well, I did feel nauseous during and for a while after the administration. Hmmm...very likely mental, but who knows. What is the difference anyway?!?!

After I was done at the Medical Oncology office, I went and pigged out for lunch. Hehehe...trying to lose weight are you??? Try the buffet at Golden Corral. Funny, my thinking was...MEAT. Yep, I had a whole plate of it. Goodness, that was yummy--yes, even the "mystery meat" tasted good. I hadn't been to a Golden Corral for many moons...it is still deliciously nasty--but I stuck with meats and veggies (um, except that last plate--let's just call that my "refined sugars" plate, shall we?)

Then...off to get "zapped!" Radiation went fine as it has been. The folks at Tampa Bay Radiation Oncology are great. I love the two folks I usually see there each day! After they were done, I ventured to ask about my final radiation appointment...the 31st of March, right? NO. The 31st is the last day of "regular radiation," but I get another 5 treatments after that--"boosts!" Oh? April 8th is now my last day...

When they told me this, I fought back tears...emotionally, I just crashed. I drove home...exhausted (mentally and physically), and crawled into my bed. I was a total zombie for most of the night...

Really...really...really ready to be done with all of this treatment...

Week 2 of Radiation is complete!

Wow...so I am now finished with week 2 of my radiation treatment...I think I realized mid-week just how tired the treatments were making me! I've been getting somewhere between 8 and 10 hours of sleep per night (going to bed early and getting up around 7), and I am just plain tired by midday. It really seems to catch up with me by late Wednesday or Thursday morning. I suppose I am a little surprised by this, but when you think about it...I guess logically I shouldn't be!

The doc explained that he would be killing off (not his words) somewhere around 100 lymph nodes...I am certain that my body is royally pissed off by this fact.

I will say (again) that massage is an incredible benefit to me. I have now gone three times in the past few weeks...I afford this by visiting the local massage school (Cortiva Institute). The students are wonderful and the benefits are numerous! I have so little edema in my legs now...and the pains from radiation are greatly reduced after the massages (sadly, I get them right back the next time I have radiation).

Pain from radiation? Not really direct pain, just pain from holding my arms up above my head, completely still in my "mold" for around 10 minutes. I have pain in my neck and shoulders from this...and now the pains are traveling down my arms (feels like pinched nerves). You can try to relax all you want while on that table...getting radiation...it is just not natural to be in that position like that and it pisses off my shoulders and arms. Oh well...

There has been little to no visible effect on my skin on the radiation sites so far...really I just see some minor dryness--especially along the scar line for my mastectomy. I am using aloe vera gel (99% aloe vera...great stuff) every day, sometimes more than once a day, in the general area being "zapped."

So, dry skin, neck and shoulder (and arm) pain, and fatigue...that is where I am at with radiation treatment. I met with the Radiation Doctor on Tuesday...things are going fine. I also got 4 recommendations from him for surgeons who do reconstructive surgery. Will start on that next.

Keeping my chin up and my attitude very positive...

With love,
Tory

Radiation Week 1 is over...woo hoo!

So, it has been a while since I have updated anything here. Things have been so busy for me--sometimes life just rushes by.

After a few simulations with the radiation folks, and my old-school dot tattoos, I was set to start radiation on 2/22/10. In the interim, I went to DFW to visit with Josh and my family. I had a chance to celebrate my last chemo treatment with some folks that I had not seen for many years in Denton. It was so nice to see folks...and to hang out at the Loophole. I tired out so fast though...ended up zonked by 11PM. Oh well, I am old and not a "party girl" anymore!!! Got to visit with my mom...and hang out with Josh on his birthday. That was nice!

Anyway, got back into Tampa and had to do some final imaging with the Radiation folks on the 18th and 19th. They had me keep my arms above my head for about an hour--by the end of that, I could not feel my fingers...and my arms felt like there were 5 million ants biting them at the same time. Yeouch!!!

Thursday the 18th was my first dose of Herceptin without any of the chemo meds. It seemed to go well. I took the Herceptin without any Benadryl or other meds...didn't really feel like I needed them. Had some minor itchiness with it, but I can't really tell if that is from all of my body hair growing back at once or what.

Radiation started on the 22nd. I will say that it was just plain strange. I have 4 series of radiation during the treatments. They last 20 seconds or less. I am specifically positioned for each series. I am on the table for about 5 minutes all told. Essentially, the machine is an x-ray machine...and the series consist of a long x-ray. Not a lot of whirring or banging like some of the other scanner things. Hmm. My skin is fine after the first week. I have been using Aloe Vera gel (from the health food store--so not the cheap stuff) every day on the area being zapped. The techs said that I might see some tanning or burning around week 3. We shall see.

I am slowly but surely regaining my strength...thank goodness! I can feel the weakness in my arms and legs getting less and less. I did struggle with some ugly edema last week. I could not see the bones in my ankles at all. What a pain in the ass. I had a massage at Cortiva Massage Institute on Wednesday--that helped immensley. I highly recommend massage during treatment...it has many many benefits. With elevation and the massage, by Friday, my edema in my ankles had subsided. Thank god!

Anyway, I've just been a bit tired this week...nothing major. So glad to have my sense of taste returning...good food--tastes so good!!!

More later!
Love,
Tory

Radiation Oncology appointment today...back at the gym tonight--woot!

Today I had the "simulation" appointment with the Radiation Oncologist. Mostly, I just met with the technician--who was very good (talked me through everything he was doing, made me feel very comfortable, answered all of my questions, etc.) Took a while--had to get fitted into my "mold" (cradles my head and arms when I hold them above my head); 2 "scout" images of my torso were taken by the CT machine (so they could line me up perfectly before doing the CT Scan); the CT Scan itself...by this time my arms (being held over my head) were completely "asleep." Then, I got to be marked to ensure they line everything up perfectly each time I go in for radiation treatment. TATTOOS!

Well, now I have multiple tattoos. They're just dots, but hey, they count, right? The Radiation Tech did them old-school--I told him he needed a tattoo gun, the hand-method (or prison method) hurt dammit! Oh well, they are just little dots--6 to be precise (two dots at each point they will line up the radiation machine) just along the bra-line on my chest. I have so many moles--I hope they find the right dots! Maybe I should have asked for smiley-faces...that should clear up any questions. He also drew a nice little "starburst" around each one...then put a clear sticker-bandage over each so that I don't wash away the starburst...for a week and a half. We shall see.

I am now waiting for a call to find out about my next appointment...where they do some final adjustments, x-rays and other odds and ends prior to actually beginning the radiation treatment (that will likely start on 2/22/10). Sheesh. Looks like I will probably be going back in on Thursday the 18th...and that is the same day I get my next Herceptin treatment. Wow, busy day.

Oh, I also asked the doc about whether he would be doing "boosts" to my scar line on the left side of my chest. Apparently, this is sometimes done to ensure that if any cancer cells got caught up in the scar tissue that they are appropriately killed off with targeted radiation. He has not yet decided if he is going to have me do that, but he said it would just be added to the end for a few days. AS IF 5.5 weeks of daily radiation Monday through Friday isn't enough already, but oh well.

I swear, all of this poking and prodding and picture-taking and imaging and on and on and on...it is tiresome. I just want to be a semi-normal 35-year-old woman and not have to be dealing with any of this shit anymore. Funny, I am actually in a really great mood lately--even though all of this crap is going on. Even though I was puking up my guts over the weekend (chemo side effects be gone now dammit!!!) Yeah...

Oh, tonight I dragged my tired ass up to the gym too! You know, it felt really good. I am ready to be back into that routine again. I really enjoy getting exercise like that--I even pushed myself a bit with the weights tonight--hell, after 2 weeks away from there I was ready to work hard. And I did. Hmmm...maybe I will go back tomorrow. We shall see. The dog may make me take him to the park--ooooh, maybe I can do both!

More soon...
Love,
Tory

Radiation Treatment Information

During my visit with the Radiation Oncologist (whom I LOVED, by the way), I learned a lot about my type of Breast Cancer and Radiation Treatment in general. Essentially, the doc gave me the option of not having radiation at all...or increasing my chances of not having a recurrence by 7 to 9 percent. I have opted to go ahead with the radiation treatment.

Essentially, I will be zapped daily for 5.5 weeks after they determine exactly the areas they are going to radiate. The doc indicated he wanted to radiate the area just above my clavicle to ensure the lymph nodes there were killed off (just in case there were cancer cells in that area that could not be reached during the axillary node dissection I had back in September). Additionally, they will radiate my armpit area and the chest wall, being careful not to damage the lungs.

I asked a lot of questions about how they ensure they do not accidentally radiate my thyroid or other areas. Basically, so much of the treatment is planned based on computers and computations developed from imaging studies, that the other organs and areas are very often protected from the radiation beams. It is not guaranteed, but they are very precise.

Hmmm...interesting stuff. We also chatted about reconstruction and how radiation affects this. As I have already been made aware, I will likely have to wait about 6 months after radiation to have reconstructive surgery...more waiting, but hey--it will be worth it. My skin and the tissues will need to "rest" after the radiation treatments...the doc also indicated (just like Dr. Cox did) that I would most likely be getting the Lat flap procedure...with possible implants for volume. Hehehehhe...this makes me laugh. Having a bunch of guys talk about what would give me the right volume. Hmmm.

Anyway, I will be heading back to get "simulation" on February 9th...this is where they will be doing CT scan(s) and marking me up to make sure I am aligned perfectly during radiation.

More soon!

Last chemo weekend...and appointment with the Radiology Oncologist today

Well, I had a crappy night's sleep overnight. Just kept waking up every couple of hours to major hotflashes and nightsweats. Hmmm...hopefully these will lessen soon (please).

This round of chemo has been tiring...but no major issues. Very similar to the first round again. No vomiting, no diarrhea. Just some dry mouth and feeling like my head was full of Jello. Oh, and my muscles have been weak as can be. My arms and legs have felt like there is just no strength in them. Hasn't really stopped me much though. I was able to get Sarge up to the Dog Park Friday (wow, I know!), Sunday and Monday evenings. It actually seemed to help my mood to get him out and about, so this was a good thing.

I did have some lovely nausea during the night (overnight) on Sunday and last night. The anti-nausea meds helped, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Food: I am still uber-picky with foods right now, and I have strange cravings still. Luckily, I have been craving things like strawberries and blueberries during the past couple of days--that beats cravings for Taco Bell (thank God!) Since I have managed to actually gain weight during this (steroids--nasty bastards), I am looking again at my food intake and exercise regimen. Starting to get some of my plans in place to get my diet back to "normal" and hopefully get back on a regular schedule with going to the gym. Just a couple more days of feeling "off" from the chemo, and I should be able to hit the gym again. I hope my muscles wake up again...I am wondering what my Red Blood Cell counts look like--probably low. I have been watching my iron and protein intake closely to try and combat some of my muscle fatigue. Sheesh...funny, I have actually been doing better than I thought on iron intake--protein, well, had to look at that one a little more closely.

So, today I go to the Radiation Oncologist. My appointment is at 9:30 AM. I have my usual list of questions typed up and ready to go. I guess I am a little nervous--meeting ANOTHER new doctor, finding out about another procedure/process to go through. What a royal pain in the ass.

My questions:
What time of day will I be getting radiation and for how long each day; how many treatments over how many weeks; what exactly does radiation do; how does one target the areas where the cancer was--lymph nodes, etc.; how do we know exactly what to hit; is it true you cannot radiate the same area twice; how will it affect my other bodily functions/what are the possible side effects; how do we protect other areas of my body, such as my lungs and thyroid; should I avoid or add certain foods/supplements; what kinds of creams or lotions should I use or not; how do I protect my skin; and is there something I should/can do to have a better outcome for my reconstruction that I have planned for later?

Well, I am just glad that Chapter 3 of treatment is on the horizon. Still feeling the effects of Chapter 2, but I am honestly feeling okay.

Can I have my hair back now please? :-)

~Tory

Last chemo is tomorrow!!!

So, the last scheduled chemo treatment is TOMORROW! I am so glad this day is finally (almost) here! I will be going in and meeting with the Doc at 9:45 AM then on to chemo for about 4 hours. I know I will feel yucky for about 5 days...but I am ready for this now. I am so ready for this to be over with!

I am ready for my hair to come back; I am ready for my skin to stop looking so dry and wrinkly; I am ready to stop retaining so much water because of the nasty steroids; I am ready for my face to stop needing so much makeup; I am ready for my throat to stop hurting; I am ready for strange food cravings to end; I am ready to stop taking weird medications to keep from getting opportunistic infections; I am ready to not have to plan my life around when I will feel bad or good; I am just plain ready.

I know that radiation treatment will be a pain in the butt...having to go in and get zapped every day for 5-6 weeks is not what I'd call fun; however, I know that it will be much easier on me and my body than chemo.

I know that I will keep having to go every 3 weeks to get Herceptin through the port in my chest. It will take about 90 minutes each time for it to be administered--and I will do this every 3 weeks until October; however, I know that it will be NOTHING like the mess of poisons I have been receiving.

I know that I will have surgery about 6 months after my last radiation treatment. I still do not know what all this will entail; however, I know that I will be just fine.

I know that Breast Cancer sucks; however, I know it has changed me--and I am grateful for this odd gift (well, the fruits of it--I haven't gone that nutty).

Here's to no more poison...
Here's to lots more living!

Love,
Tory

Less than a week until my last chemo...

Well, less than one week until my last chemo! I've been feeling really well this week--a bit tired, but I have managed to drag myself up to the gym two nights after work!!! I've been really excited about work...love some of the projects I am working on. I've even managed to get the dog up to the dog park most nights this week!

My appointment with the Radiation Oncologist (http://www.tbropa.com/index.html is the website...my doc is Greenberg) is set for February 2nd. I will find out what that treatment will be like--exactly when it will begin, what it entails, etc.

Soon, I would like to also meet with some surgeons to discuss reconstruction options. I've researched this quite a bit; however, I've put this on the backburner recently...

Funny, I've noticed my head hair is GROWING! Not new hair where I am bald, but the little fine hairs I have left are growing. WEIRD! At the same time, the hair on the rest of my body is evacuating--my pubes have seriously gone on vacation. And they have not done so in an orderly fashion.

I have had some moderate nosebleeds this week--mostly earlier in the week (and last weekend). They were heavier than they had been...but manageable. I found that I just had to let it clot...and then not mess with the damn clot. Too bad it is fun to dig out bloody booger clots. Hmmm. I apparenly need a new hobby.

Well, I am elated that my last chemo "treatment" is less than a week away. So glad...ready to be done being poisoned....and hopefully cured!

Bring on the last treatment! Let's get this shit over with!

Tentative Chemo Schedule...

Here is the tentative schedule for my chemo treatments...
October 15th (DONE!)
November 5th
November 26th (will be moved before or after due to Thanksgiving Holiday)
December 17th
January 7th
January 28th

I "receive" Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. Herceptin will continue after January 28th...every 3 weeks for a total of 17 doses--roughly 1 year of Herceptin at every 3 weeks.

After the January 28th chemo, I start radiation for 6 weeks, at 5 days per week. I will be getting the Herceptin during these radiation treatments.

Reconstructive surgery will be after radiation is completed.

Fun for all!

Post Surgical Followup Appointment-Finally, some Good News!

So, yesterday morning I was incredibly nervous about my followup appointment with my Surgical Oncologist. I also had to find something appropriate to wear "out and about" that hid my damn drain lines and bulbs that are hanging out of my chest. I basically had to imagine that I was wearing two side arms...like an overzealous detective...but it worked...and it made me laugh! I wore a tank top with a gauzy flowy, oversized jacket thingy that hid my side arms...(the lines/bulbs/and my chest.)

I opted to drive over to Tampa for the appointment, and it was my first time to drive since the surgery on 9/16/09. My dad was actually the one who offered to let me drive...and for those of you who have been in a vehicle with my dad behind the wheel, Tory on Percoset is a better driver than dad in his best possible shape (sorry Dad, love you!) Anyway, driving was a bit  (okay, very) tiring and it made me sore. Made it over to the appointment just a few minutes late. I also drove us home...stopping at Starbucks on the way (gasp!) We also had to stop in at the drugstore, as I had split some of the incision points (yeoch...not too badly tho)...and I needed gauze, tape, antibiotic ointment, and Vitamin E Oil (thanks, Mel for the suggestion on the Vit E--works like a charm!) Yeah, I was incredibly tired after all of this, and I had one hell of a nap to "celebrate." Funny how you just crash out after a sort of "anxiety release." <--insert lots of jokes about men falling asleep after sex.

During the appointment, Doctor Cox, my Surgical Oncologist, was his usual cheerful self, and we read through the older-style Tampa General Hospital Pathology Report (the Moffitt and UCH reports were made using some newer software and were much easier to read and decipher) during the visit. I had my usual list of questions that we went through...

Left Breast: completely removed; additionally, all cancer was completely removed with good, clear margins; ample margin between cancer and chest wall; ample margin between cancer and skin surface; the final measurement of the cancer is about 4 cm...although it was so abnormally shaped...and much of the actual cancer was happening on a microscopic level, it had not formed into an actual "mass" per se. The rest of my left breast was full of fybrocystic breast disease--nothing too abnormal.

Doc said that I heal "very well" and he had no suggestions for me to follow/no specific change in anything. I asked him this as he had just performed the left breast lumpectomy just 2 weeks prior...and he would have been able to see how well/not I was healing from it.

Right Breast: completely removed. No cancerous cells found in breast tissue or the sentinel lymph nodes that were removed; however, there were numerous indications of some early pre-cancerous activity. The right breast was also full of fybrocystic breast disease (again, this is not too abnormal, lots of folks have that--surprised I felt no pain from it!) Essentially, I would probably have developed breast cancer in the right breast sometime in the near future. I feel very strongly that I made the correct decision in having the double mastectomy. Hell, it is a shock to look at the results...but at least I am here and able to look in the mirror at this odd breastless-being I have become ;-)

As you know, I have two drains hanging out of my chest. Unfortunately, the drains could not be removed during the appointment, as I am still draining more than the "less than 30 ml" requirement for removal. You could tell the doc really wanted to help me out by taking them out, but I really did not expect them to come out so soon. Besides, I find that they are a really handy-dandy place to keep the gun powder for my musket.

I received the Pathology report from Moffitt as well...they did some further testing and did the staging unlike the first surgical pathology report...pT2, pN1a, pMX with venous/lymphatic invasion present, extensive.

I asked the doc if the Moffitt report provided him with additional information he felt would be useful to him...as I could request the Tampa General Pathology slides be sent over there too. Dr. Cox did not feel like the additional information (other than what had been provided) would be beneficial at this point. If the Medical or Radiation Oncologist want the info, I will have the second review done by Moffitt.

Also, the Stage is at II instead of IIIa...this makes me feel a hell of a lot better. Cancer staging says a LOT about ultimate prognosis (okay, chances of death within 5 years), so the lower the number the better, statistically speaking. Now, I can say that I have always been an outlier on, well, everything, so I will just have to continue using that to my advantage. And right now, I see no advantageousness in my own death ;-)

Dr. Cox indicated that he would assist me in any way I needed to ensure my care was properly coordinated. He asked that I call him with any problems or issues I may be having.
I told him that I felt like he a lot of faith in his recommendations of the Medical/Radiation Oncologists...so I asked him what exactly made him recommend them. He indicated that he knew both of the docs and that the three of them speak regularly, throughout the week, and that they were all "friends." I told him that I would go with them as long as the three of them coordinated my treatment and worked with ME as a team. There are too many other options out there for me to feel uncomfortable with a doctor or the way a group of people work together for me to put something so serious as my own cancer treatment in the hands of people I cannot stand to work with!

Honestly, this is too emotional of a disease...and I have to be the head-honcho in control of my care. Some folks might not want that...hell, I have to have it...that's just who I am.


Next steps:
I need to call the Medical Oncologist to set up an appointment (this was done today, and my appointment is 9/30/09 at 9:15 AM).
The Medical Oncologist will coordinate the PET/Bone Scan, the Genetic Testing, and will begin to work with me on chemotherapy plans. It is possible that by Wednesday, I will know exactly when chemo will start. I should know most of the medications they plan to use...so I can research them prior to starting. I do know that they will be hitting me pretty "hard" with chemo...as I am young, I had an aggressive "grade" of cancer, and the fact that the cancer was HER2+ (also aggressive). I fully expect they will be recommending "Double Density" chemo....along with Herceptin. This would mean I receive the traditional chemo in heavier doses, every other week for just over 3 months. Additionally, Herceptin would be given weekly for about a year.
Since they will find NO OTHER cancer dammit on the PET/Bone Scan (positive thoughts!), this should be the worst part of the treatment...and it will be over...then Radiation will begin for about 6 weeks.

I also need to call back the Radiation Oncologist to determine if I need to see them now or sometime after chemo starts.

Reconstruction: I can begin this journey once chemo and radiation are completed--about 6 months out. I have tons of folks giving me recommendations on reconstructive plastic surgeons...Dr. Cox has some recommendations as well. I will just (mentally) have to look at this later, as I am kind of stuck with the indentions I have now...that is what I will call them instead of "former breasts..." how's about "the indentions formerly known as breasts?" I have had the pleasure of looking at tons of photos online of reconstructive surgery before and after pics. I should warn you...if you choose to look at these for shits and giggles, they are NOT for the faint of heart. Wow.

Returning to work: I should be able to start back to work on Monday...slowly, with some work from home (remote computer access rocks!)...up to 4 hours a day, 2 hours at a time. Limited driving at this point. I will slowly get back up to a normal work schedule over a few weeks. This is good...I am ready to go back (slowly...I am still way too tired throughout the day to go full on!)

Alrighty then...I think that is all for now...

With love and affection, and from the boobless one in West-Central Florida,
Tory