My Thyroid is CLEAN!

Well, got the test results back from the Thyroid Biopsy today. Doc left me a message on my voicemail and said there was NO CANCER found. Good news...so glad to hear that! What a huge relief!

I didn't even bother calling back the doc's office to bitch about what they did to me Friday when I called to get the results. Apparently the results were there...and I was left on hold for over 20 minutes to be told that my doc had left for the day. Pissed me off royally. But, I am going to enjoy the good news and just bring up the concern I had at my next appointment.

Now leave my neck alone...no more pokey my necky.

...so, I do not recommend the thyroid biopsy. Go with the ribeye in a nice chianti sauce...

Because there was a spot of "hypermetabolic activity" in a node on my thyroid (a 3.2 cm node), my Oncologist sent me over to St. Joseph's Hospital to have a biopsy on the node.

I had the appointment today. My sister accompanied me. I have to say that having someone with you is just so much better than going alone. You can somewhat let your guard down and just try and relax. I was able to do this with ease today...I just relaxed my muscles and cleared my head. I really did not think about the biopsy until it was happening. I suppose I was practicing "mindfulness meditation," as I was just exactly where I was without looking forward, backward...I was just where I was in that moment. I even napped prior to the procedure, and normally I am so freaked out that I am tense and shivering.

The folks at St. Joseph's Hospital are really amazing. Excellent customer service--made me feel comfortable, at ease...offered me anything I needed to feel as relaxed as I could. You can definitely tell when a work-place has "good energy" as opposed to ugly energy. The employees seemed genuinely happy--that really affects the level of service provided to patients/customers. I know, always a Quality Improvement person--I look for ways to make things better wherever I am. I want happy staff if I have to be there!

Anyway, the folks in the "staging" area were very helpful and informative about the procedure. Yes, they were going to stick a small needle in my neck--jiggle it back and forth for about 20 seconds--and they would do this two times. The first thing I would feel would be the lidocaine shot though, and the rest should be fairly painless. I told the assistant that I had been told this before but had then felt some pain (like the lidocaine did not work), and he stated they would give me more if necessary. Oh, and the pathologist would check the samples then and there to make sure they had a good sample--or they would go back in again for more if necessary.

Well, the ultrasound tech was able to find the node with no problem...and a different man came in to do the biopsy itself. The pathologist was down by my feet with all of her cool stuff. She asked me about why I was wearing a hat. I told her I was in chemo for Breast Cancer, and she told me she was a 2-time survivor. She had a mastectomy 10 years ago...and then it came back just this past spring (in her spine/pelvis). She had completed chemo in July and was growing her hair back out. I liked her, Anne was her name.

So the lidocaine shot into the left side of my neck was so pleasant, I think my blood pressure spiked about 50 points systolic. The PA, Mark? said to wiggle my toes--hell, I was already circling my feet like a whirlybird. You know, there has got to be a better way. If I don't feel it when the chemo nurses jack in to my port in my chest, there must be a way that folks can make shots in the neck not hurt too. Reminded me of dentists and all of their sadistic tendencies.

Second thing...the biopsy needle. Felt it. Sorry, but I did. And I groaned in pain, and twirled my feet, and told the PA and Tech, "OWWwwwwww" while trying not to breathe. No wait, the not breathing part came pretty naturally. Breath held. No problem. About 5 hours later he said he was out and going back in for the second pass. GREAT!

The second pass...now that was when I really felt it. I told him immediately...and he said he was already in and to count back from 10 slowly...yeah...for ten YEARS. Sorry to be dramatic (no I am not), but these things suck ass. I hate them...and for some freakin' reason, no one can get me numb enough so that I do not feel them. Happens the same way every time..."I am already in, it will hurt worse for me to give you another shot, it will be over soon." Yeah, asshole, you are not the one with the needle being crammed in your neck. Repeatedly, back and forth, like you're cleaning the grates on a grill. For some reason I started thinking about what I wanted to eat for lunch. Dissociation--it's a good thing.

So, then we get to wait for 10 minutes or so while Anne makes sure they have the correct cells (an actual sample from my thyroid and not, say, my brainstem) and that they will be able to run the appropriate tests on the samples. I am happy for this...I don't want to come back for this. But somehow, I know that they are going to have to jab me AGAIN. And they do. And it sucks. This time, Anne was nice enough to rub my feet during it. That helped actually. Anne must be in every biopsy for every one. Or someone to rub thine feet. I will now require a foot massager for any further medical test I endure.

Yeah, so when he was done jabbing my neck with the skewer, the PA said that I will probably bruise. Hell, Becky was already working on the story to explain that hickey. We'll see if I bruise and what story we can come up with. Bandaid on, wheel me to recovery for about 10 minutes, I piss like a cow on a flat rock...and get the hell out of there before someone finds something else to violate me with.

Sheesh!
Let me be clear. I am a complete wuss when it comes to medical tests. I hate them, they suck ass, and I get all depressed and funky afterward. I feel like I have decent pain tolerance--but I may just be a wuss. But then again...it was a needle in my freakin' neck. And all I get is a bag of ice to put on my neck (as tolerated) for the next 24-hours.

Hmmmph. Stupid thyroid.

Chemo Weekend #2

Well, on Friday, the day after my second chemo treatment, I felt a bit speedy from the steroids...and I felt fine, so I went into the office. Was rather productive, but then I had to leave to go get my Neulasta shot in the afternoon.
While driving over to Tampa from New Port Richey, I spoke with my mom (who is in Grapevine, TX). She indicated that my grandmother, Helen, was going to be released from the hospital with hospice care in the home. Grandma fell early on Thursday AM, so she had been at the hospital in a lot of pain. Anyway, after sitting in the parking lot of the treatment center, I just decided that I did not have the strength to head out to Texas to say "goodbye." I actually ended up convincing myself by saying...you can't just do something out of the fear of possible future regret. So, I opted to stay here in Florida and take care of myself.

I got the Neulasta shot and headed home after for some much needed rest. By the end of the day, Friday, I was pretty exhausted! My mouth was a bit "funky," just dry and icky--you don't seem to be able to get enough water or other fluids to help this honestly. I had a dull ache in my lower back that night, but nothing more.

Saturday I spent doing laundry and cleaning up the house. Mom called and said that Grandma had been released from the hospital and was home in the morning. There were lots of folks there with them, my Uncle Jim, Aunt Roberta, and my mom's cousins Denny and Kathy.

The Neulasta bone pain started hitting later in the afternoon...that stuff means business. There is just no getting away from that pain. It is so deep...in my pelvis, my spine, my legs and knees. By the evening, I was resting in bed...with the heating pad under my butt, doing some back and leg stretches, talking on the phone with Josh. He was suggesting some stretches like I used to do when I did yoga...I was naming the poses/stretches he was having me do...thinking that I really should get back to doing some yoga. The stretches helped some...but only when I was actually doing them. Saturday night was a rough night for sleep...I woke up regularly with some intense pains in my upper legs. Also had acid reflux from hell--just drank Mylanta and Gaviscon when it woke me up.

Sunday morning my mom called to let Becky and me know that Grandma Helen had passed quietly during the night. I am sad that she is gone...but I am happy she is no longer in pain. She had suffered in pain for so many years...and her little body just couldn't put up with it any more. There will be a small memorial service in Grapevine; however, the larger service and "burial" at Arlington National Cemetery (with my Grandfather) will be in the Spring (when we can all go). I am glad that we will be doing the main service later...I want to be there. By then, chemo and radiation will be done...

Sunday started out okay...not as much pain from the Neulasta; however, that did not last for long. By about mid-day it came back in full force. I was very fatigued, but I had wanted to take Becky out to this great park East of here. So, we drove over to Weedon Island Preserve and did some hiking. It was just beautiful! We were out there walking around for a while until I petered out and had to head back home. I remembered the Claritin at that point, and I took one Claritin D when I got to the house. This really seemed to help with the bone pain!!! I'd say it cut it down to about 1/3 of what it was...so, the Claritin regimen will continue and I will remember it for the next go-round. My nose got all bloody again on Sunday. It is like all of the moisture from your nose is gone and you have bloody goops up your nostrils. I do have to say the symptoms are much better this time, as I do not have the Systemic Yeast Infection...thank you diflucan. My mouth is much better than last time, my eyes, my ears, my nose...everything is just better than it was the first time. The heartburn/acid reflux is the same though...although not unmanageable. I just drink down some chalky stuff...or take one anti-nausea med if it is really bad.

I took a nap Sunday evening, but was still exhausted that night. My mouth had gotten even more dry...my stomach was talking to me a little (just gas pains--very farty...and LORD do those farts stink!) I slept pretty well Sunday night into Monday...

Monday morning I woke up planning to go in to the office; however, I was just wiped out. I decided that I would use my energy to get some work done from home (instead of wasting energy driving an hour and a half round trip). This was a good decision, as I was very productive. The bone pain was there, but it was less severe with the Claritin...mouth dry (I have a couple of sores in my mouth that are driving me nuts), gas is minimal (everything fairly regular/normal in the nether regions this time). I went out and ran some errands around lunch time and nearly wore myself out completely! I took a brief nap early in the evening. Nose is still a bit bloody on occasion...just have to not pick (I know...I pick my nose *gasp, but it is hard not to!) But when you do, you break off the "plug" that keeps it from bleeding. Sheesh...all these goofy things to remember :-)

I have been able to eat normally during these past few days. No bland or BRAT diet this time. I have taken very few anti-nausea medications...only a couple at bedtime when the acid reflux really kicks in. The reflux is there constantly actually, but I have experienced that for so many years, that it really doesn't occur to me how bad it is sometimes. I just have to remember to do some preventative sips of Mylanta/Gaviscon (Gaviscon is actually much better than Mylanta for this--and it has always worked better for me overall. Gaviscon actually seems to stop or slow the reflux and the Mylanta soothes my esophagus).

Well, it appears that the symptoms are somewhat predictible for the first weekend after a chemo treatment. I will need to remember that the Monday following is really a rough day for fatigue--I was having trouble seeing the TV last night...my eyes were just so tired!

What's up next:
I am looking into a yoga class...maybe start next week?
I am signing up for a 1 mile walk on Thanksgiving day...this will be the day after my 3rd chemo, and I should be fine based on my experiences thus far.
I am considering going back to the gym soon...doc says it is fine but to take it easy...

Today: I am heading over to St. Joseph's Hospital to have my ultrasound-guided thyroid biopsy. Yep...I get poked in the neck with a needle. Damn thyroid...damn needles.

A run down of my main symptoms this time:
Fatigue
Acid Reflux/Heartburn
Dry Skin
Thirst
Dry, Raw Mouth
Dry, Raw, Bloody Nose
Gas/Bloating/Tightness in Stomach
Minor Swelling from Steroids
"Mild" Bone Pain (yeah, mild, my ass)

A note on hair loss:
I have about 10-20% of my head hair left...it is still coming out. Right now I look like a little old lady who really needs a perm. The texture is coarse...my scalp is itchy.
My body hair stopped falling out last week--nothing is missing at this point. I still have my pelt...just missing a lot of antlers.

Chemo 2 of 6 Today--1/3 DONE!!!

Well, Becky and I went to the Oncology office today for my bloodwork (still looking fine), meeting with my doc, and chemo part 2 of 6.

Finally I had the tech pull blood straight from my port instead of my arm/hand. Yay! No track marks this week!!! The results were fine per the doc, and I got the report for my records.

Meeting with the doc went great. He was very surprised to see that I had so much of my hair left. I have lost about half of my hair on top of my head. Oddly, I have most of my body hair too...hmmm. Well, my head hair is coming out very rapidly...so I don't know how much I will actually end up with, but we shall see.

I asked about the new study about cancer changing receptor status when it spreads to the lymph nodes. I asked specifically if the meds I was receiving would appropriately treat a cancer that had become ER or PR positive in nature. Based on what type of cancer I have, and the meds I am currently taking, we are treating it very aggressively and in a way that would attack any of the types it could morph into. Good news. I might watch this research though, as it intrigues me.

I also asked about exercise...what he would like me to do and if he feels I could go to the gym or not. He said he felt like I should do what feels right for me. He would suggest no heavy cardio work, but that exercise is definitely a good thing and to do it. Walks, light weights, and mild cardio is good.

We are continuing on the diflucan medication as it appeared to ward off the Systemic Yeast Infection that I developed last time. Essentially, I had the yeast infection in my mouth, throat, ears, nose and rectum. That was just so nice. Can we not do that again if possible? I have my script...with plenty of refills, so I can keep that side effect at bay. That side effect may be more related to the steroid decadron...

I mentioned about the lovely bone pain that results from Neulasta shots I get the day after chemo. I know I need them, but those f*#&ers are something else. "Mild" Bone Pain my ass. I did tell the doc that some folks on the internet were trying Claritin to help with the bone pain with some success. I told him I had researched the interactions and found no ill effects...so I had tried it. I told him it worked somewhat...not completely, but seemed to cut down the pain level a bit. He said he would look into it.

I did forget (again) to ask about the BRCA gene mutation test results...or if the test had even been ordered. Oh well, must remember this next time.

Next chemo is moved up to the day before Thanksgiving...and the shot will be on Friday. Works for me...just hoping I am up to do the St.Pete Times Turkey Trot (well, the little fun run version of it, the Gobbler 1 mile) the morning of Thanksgiving. My sis will compete in the 5k and will join me for the Gobbler once I sign up! Cool!

Anyway, back for chemo. They upped some of the pre-treatment medications this time to ensure I did not have a funky reaction like I did last time. Last time I got very hot and faint during the last chemo med administration. They had to give extra steroid via IV Push...that was no fun. But this time, they gave me a larger dose of Decadron (steroid) over a longer period, and they gave me Ativan via IV. Hmmm....that was trippy. Made me loopy and tired very quickly. Funny, my left eye was working okay, but my right eye seemed to be going all sideways to the world. Together, this made for some interesting stereoscopic views of the chemo administration room.

My friend Nancy showed up in the chemo room...I had no idea she was receiving treatment there...she is now doing her ongoing Herceptin treatment. She completed chemo then had a unilateral mastectomy. She will be doing reconstruction about 9 months after her last radiation. We talked for a while about what she had been through during the year...wow! There have certainly been some challenges for a handful of the people I know...for her, I wish continued learning and happier times ahead. I hope the same for myself, actually! It was nice to have her there during a large portion of my chemo today...she is such a good soul!

Anyway, I got my usual Aloxi (anti-nausea), Benadryl, Decadron, Tylenol (oral), Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. All told, I spent about 5 hours hooked up to meds today. No exciting events like last time...just got a bit nauseous and very slightly dizzy during the last med (Herceptin). Was glad Becky was there for support and to watch over me...I cannot stress the importance of having a good person with you during these treatments. My sister is good for my soul...and I need that during this. Thanks Bec!

Well, we finally got out of the office around 5:30 PM, after picking up my next scheduled appointment listing. Becky drove us home and was able to join her running group over in Tampa. I was able to drive up to the pharmacy and fill the new diflucan script (and grab some of that 75% off Halloween Candy that I really did NOT need). Hmmmm...read a small book on Mickey Mantle while waiting for the med to be filled.

Feeling okay tonight...just a little looped and tired. Took some Zofran to combat the minor nausea I was feeling...ate a decent meal (and too much clearance Halloween Candy to even admit to). Now, I think I will take the other meds as directed, drop some Diflucan and hit the bed a bit earlier than I normally do. This girl is a bit tired tonight.

Next Steps:
Get Neulasta shot tomorrow: ooooh...get ready for that "mild" (bullshit, that is not mild dammit) bone pain...
Have Thyroid Biopsy on November 10th
Next Chemo on November 25th

Need to research more on the reconstruction options...how long after radiation must I wait? Can I get implants after radiation? Some questions have come up during discussions with folks and some of my research.

Need to get script for fake boobies to wear in my bras until I get reconstruction...these cotton padded thingys are just driving me a bit crazy. I was supposed to get the script a couple of weeks ago, I just haven't done it yet.

Well, I am off for now.....
Here is to much health and happiness!
~Tory

Thyroid Biopsy Scheduled for November 10th...

I finally have a "date" for the Thyroid Biopsy...this will be the morning of November 10th at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tampa. It is an ultrasound-guided procedure, a "fine needle aspiration" of the node in question. Sounds like an absolute joy to have a needle crammed in my neck. Great...lucky me! Bad thyroid...growing danglies.

You know...something about doctors' attitudes about the Thyroid bothers me. Why are they so quick to just yank it out if something is wrong? Hmmm...must research this more.