My First Post-Treatment PET Scan---I am free from cancer!

Well, yesterday, I received the results of my first post-treatment PET Scan. After doing my best to not worry all weekend (the scan was last week, on Thursday), I started to freak out sometime around noon on Monday. I have had ongoing issues with getting the Dr. to call me whenever test results come in, and I was not about to let this one slide.

I kept calling...10AM, no results yet; 12:00 PM, will have Dr. call me ASAP; 1:30 PM, the Dr. will call me (then I cried and begged...I told them that they just do not call me back, I really did cry) I was having a panic attack at this point (no fun, considering I was at work!!!)

Then, Nellie (Dr. Wright's assistant) called me. NO CANCER detected in my bones, liver, lungs, brain, chest...etc.!!!  Then, I cried in relief.

My thyroid lit up the test again (and NO, I am not going to let them tinker with that again--we will just assume it is fine); and the Sinus Infection I have been dealing with showed up (they do want me to follow up with an ENT (Ear Nose Throat) Specialist to have my sinuses checked out (not for cancer, but for abcesses, etc.)

NO CANCER!

So grateful and relieved!!!

Wow, it has been a while!

Wow! I just realized how long it has been since I have written...
I met with my doc this morning...I had not seen Dr. Wright in a few months, as he has been in a different location on Thursdays (I've met with his assistant, Nellie in his absence). He told me he was sruprised I looked so well...ah, he always makes me feel good!
I am happy that I have lost more weight since my last visit three weeks ago...a few more pounds off. Seems like the weight is coming off so slowly. Oh well, I am doing as much as I can, eating better and exercising. Ugh, ready for my pre-chemo pants to fit again!!!
So, Dr. Wright and I discussed quite a few things:
Protein Marker Results: Doc said this is kind of like testing for smoke from a possible fire. There was no smoke detected in the last test...Yay! Today, they drew blood to test more directly for "fire..." the results will be back in a day or so.
PET Scan: will be in mid-June. He is looking at the research I provided him re: the Whole Body MRI research (found that MRI may be just as good at detecting cancer tumours as PET/CT Scans without subjecting the recipient to the radiation of a PET Scan.) I am still a bit leery from the MRI issue I had with the Breast Scans back in August of last year--I feel like it missed much of the cancer/what was going on...we will see how I feel about this moving forward. Maybe I would insist the results be read by more than one person...
Swelling on the right side of my chest: Dr. Wright looked at the swelling and indicated he did not feel like I needed to follow up with Dr. Cox.
Recent Research discussion:
1) Baby Aspirin: I told him I have been taking 81 mg/day based on the recent research showing that there was some reduction in cancer recurrence rates by taking it. He gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up and said that the research showed that taking it 5 days a week instead of 7 was shown to be more beneficial. Strange...okay, so I will take it Monday through Friday. Hmmm... this seems to have something to do with reducing the amount of inflammation in the body as a whole. Can't hurt I suppose.
2) Inositol/IP-6: he has no issues with my taking this...there is some research being done on this.
3) Sulforaphane (Broccoli Extract): I gave him the synopsis of the research and he said I could take it with no problem. I think I will order some from the Internet, as I have had some difficulty finding it in my local stores. Strange that more health-food stores do not carry this...there is so much research that has been done on the health benefits of Broccoli on a number of types of cancer. Some recent research shows that sulforaphane may shrink cancer cells or eradicate them. Hell...it's Broccoli. I can't eat enough of it, so if it comes in pill form, what the hey?

Basically, the doc is fine with my taking supplements and vitamins. Good deal!

So, I did get my Herceptin treatment today. It really does make me feel a bit funky afterward. Hm...oh well, that is what naps are for!

Hair update!

As of Monday, May 10th~!

It is definitely coming in thicker these days...so nice to have some hair!

Follicular Follies...

As of April 20, 2010

Mental and Physical Health

Even though I have been done with Radiation for about 12 days, I still have some ugly burns on my skin. It is healing well, but I had another area (about 2 inches long) split open and begin to drain about 5 days ago. I am able to wear my bras again...with my silly poofy pillows ;-)

I've been looking lately at getting more appropriate prosthetics--even though they seem rather goofy to me! I think I would feel more comfortable with them moving forward though. Plus, there are some that can be used for swimming, and that would make me feel much more comfortable at the beach!!!

I've been fairly depressed during the last week or so, it has been a real struggle to make myself do my usual work and other tasks. Once I start though, I can really get into things and get a lot done. That is good...

I finally got up to the gym yesterday, after a couple of weeks off. Even with the last bit of skin that opened up recently, I figured I should go--if nothing more than for the mental benefit!!! I still have about 10 extra pounds on me from chemo/steroids (well, I have a few extra pounds more than that--but this is all I can blame on chemo!) I am getting tired of carrying around the extra weight. I want back into my pre-chemo britches!!!

Slowly, I have begun to focus back on my food and calorie intake. I mostly struggle with incorporating enough veggies and fruit into my diet. I am hell-bent on correcting this!!! Vitamins: I started taking a prenatal vitamin with herbs. No real reason other than to ensure I get my hair to grow as quickly as possible (hehe)! I am still taking Evening Primrose Oil (hotflashes), Black Cohosh Herb (night sweats), and Vitamin D. The Vitamin D is due to some recent research that has shown women who develop Breast Cancer tend to have lower levels of the vitamin. Also there have been some very positive (and scientific even) research findings showing the benefits of Vitamin D.

So, I am focused on some good things: diet, exercise, work...my dog! Still need to keep working on ME and focusing on my mental health (oh well, that is a lifelong endeavor, isn't it?)

I did visit with the Psychiatrist this evening. I have not seen him since before I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. When I was thinking about all that has happened in the last 8 months, I realized how much I had been through. He continued my prescription for Cymbalta...I figure Cymbalta has helped me a lot through the past 8 months! Hell, I can be depressed enough at times without it, I cannot imagine what I would have felt like going through surgeries, radiation and chemo without it! Sheesh...I really don't want to think about that!

Well, enough rambling for now!

Finally Done with Radiation!

Well, it has been a while since I have written, but I finished Radiation on April 8th. My Radiation Therapists were so great to me...even gave me donuts to celebrate...got a cute certificate and everything! I gave them a card...they really made the whole experience a better one (it could have been even more taxing with staff who were unhappy, sullen or whatever). It was so nice to have cheerful, patient, knowledgeable folks working with me each day during the process!

Thank you Tampa Bay Radiation Oncology staff! You guys are the BEST!

Follicular Follies...

Here is where I am at as of today, February 12th!

Just ONE more.....

Last night was fairly restless--Percoset helps with pain and mood, but it really jacked with the quality of my sleep. Wow...cool dreams though. Nice and bizarre!

The pain from my burns is still very much there, but when I am able to take Percoset, it helps a lot. The swelling under my arm is very slightly reduced...this apparently will take some time to go down. Ugh, I am sure my caffeine intake is not helping either the pain or the swelling for that matter.

Getting into position today for the targeted radiation treatment was a bit easier, thank goodness. The radiation therapists are such good folks--even saved me a doughnut from their lunch! Yummy Krispy Kreme doughnut!

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I am blogging for the Youth and Family Alternatives Rap River Run 5K Race. It is held in June, and I decided a while back to start training to participate. I agreed to track my progress with training for my first 5K, and I blog each Wednesday night with my weekly updates. I really couldn't contribute much this week--I have not been able to do any exercise for about a week and a half. Oh well, when the burns heal up a bit and the swelling abates, I will get back into the swing of things.

Here is a link to the Rap River Run Blog: http://www.rapriverrun5k.blogspot.com/
There you can follow my progress, along with that of other folks who are training to participate in the race. I hope that those of you who are in the area will join me at the race!

JUST ONE MORE RADIATION TREATMENT TO GO!!! I WILL BE DONE TOMORROW!!! WOO HOO!!!

Bring in the Percoset, please!

I did not sleep much last night, just could not quiet my mind or find a spot that was comfortable to my left arm or chest area. These burns are a bitch!

I decided I would ask the doc for some Percoset, as Tylenol, Advil and Vicodin have not done a damn thing for the pain (or swelling for that matter!) I could probably deal with the pain...but emotionally I have been just worn out. The pain is making me emotionally worse and vice versa.

Getting into position for my radiation treatment was a grueling experience today. Lifting my left arm above my head with cracked and burned skin...sheesh! You know, I have chatted with two other breast cancer survivors who endured radiation...and neither of them had burns like I have. Lucky ladies! Ugh, if ONLY!!!

Anyway, the doc was kind enough to prescribe some Percoset, and it is helping. If nothing else, it is helping my mood. Oh, and it does cut the pain down too.

Just 2 more...I am even beginning to cheer up with the thought of being done!

Emotional and Physical Fatigue...

Well, this last week has been a bit rough both emotionally and physically. Physically, the area that has been radiated has been very sore, achy and (last week) oozing, bleeding, etc. Now, I am just in pain from the swelling around the worst burn under my left arm. It seems to be a bit of edema, and the skin is just cooked. It is difficult to get comfortable, especially when I am trying to rest or sleep. I have not been able to sleep much at night due to the consistent pain.

Emotionally, I have struggled greatly with feelings of loneliness--probably just emotional fatigue. It is a real bitch going to get zapped every day. Anyway, I am almost done...just 3 more radiation treatments to go!

The Follicular Follies...

Here's where I am at as of today, April 5th, 2010.

Herceptin...Radiation...a bit much for one day!!!

Well, today I had a combo: Herceptin treatment in the morning and Radiation in the afternoon. Sheesh. That makes me VERY tired!!!

Bloodwork looks great, and I also received the results from my first cancer protein tests. So far, I fall within the normal range, and that means there appears to be no other cancer in my body. Mind you, the protein tests are NOT imperfect...so this cannot be used as the only indicator of being cancer-free. It is just a good sign...and I am glad to hear that.

I started my "targeted" radiation today...hopefully my skin will begin to heal in the other areas pronto!

Last "Regular Radiation..." targeted begins tomorrow...

So, today I had my last "regular radiation" treatment. Tomorrow I begin my "targeted" or "boost" radiation of just the scar line. I learned today that the difference is that protons are aimed at the area (instead of electrons as have been the case with regular radiation). Hmmm...interesting.

Well, my skin is fairly trashed at this point. This is the latest pic of the burns under my arm. Yes, it hurts a bit...although I am still numb at the worst part...it is just the area beneath it that hurts (there is some swelling there).

I also took some pictures of the radiation machine...the "Linear Accelerator." The machine is the one I have been visiting every day. I also took a pic of my view during part of treatment.

Working...shirtless

Today I had an early Radiation Doc appointment--my usual Tuesday meeting with him and then he had to "mark me up" for the targeted/boost radiation treatment set to begin on Thursday, April 1, 2010. The doc looked at my skin and offere to let me have a "rest" from radiation for a couple of days. I asked if that meant they would make me get them later, yes it would, so I said, "No, just treat me." Hell, I was so upset when I learned that my last day of radiation was NOT March 31st, but April 8th...I can not stand to go beyond that dammit!!!

Yes, my skin is fried. There are at least 5 different spots with 2nd degree burns or worse, and one area (under my arm) is constantly "draining." The stinging...this truly sucks!

Anyway, I was "marked up," then treated, then set up for targeted radiation. Thankfully, I only had to have two of the usual four series of treatments today--we are done with treating the super-clavicle area (last one was Monday). What was really fun today was that I could not apply any of the Silvedene cream to my skin until after treatment. Normally, I put it on in the morning (after my shower) and then in the evenings and before bed. However, because I cannot apply it within 4 hours before being treated, and with such an early appointment today, I went in with having only applying aloe gel. Don't get me wrong, aloe gel is great, but it really does very little for me at this point. Plus, when it dries, it has the tendency to make your skin a bit tight and dry.

Well, because I was unable to wear any top that even somewhat resembled "business casual," I opted to head home after the appointment and do some work remotely...and shirtless. The shirt I wore to treatment had to be soaked so the stains would not set in...

My last "regular" radiation treatment is tomorrow...then five days of targeted treatment along the scar line. Luckily, the scar line is not burned up too badly, yet.

Cancer Impatient...

It has been a little while since I have written much about my ongoing treatment. Honestly, I have been so busy with many different things, and, I suppose, trying not to devote too much mental energy to my being a "cancer patient."  I have been going to work each day, then dragging myself to Tampa to get radiation treatment every afternoon. After that, I have been going to the dog park with Sarge and/or to the gym to work out.

Last week, when I saw the Radiation Oncologist, I complained that my skin was beginning to crack, peel and sting. He prescribed Silvedene cream. What a god-send! That stuff really makes it feel better; however, it does not stop me from continuing to be burned worse and worse. By the end of last week, I had the Radiation Therapists look and tell me if I was okay. Sadly, they said that many folks get much worse burns than me--so I guess I am okay. Oh, the doc also prescribed Flexaril for the spasms in my neck (it helped...and I have taken it twice; however, it makes me feel so crappy the next day, I probably will not take it again.) The neck spasms are not as bad lately though...so I will endure.

Today, while getting ready for work, I noticed that my major sores from radiation (under my arm, on my upper back, and around my collarbone) were oozing..and some spots spontaneously bled when I lifted my arm. That was lovely--I noticed the shirt I had worn to bed had moisture and/or blood from the radiatedd skin as well. So, I opted to go without a bra/cami, and I put on a larger cotton shirt. Then, I tied a big scarf around my neck and let it drape over my chest (to cover my lack of breasts and any possible bleeding or oozing that might seep through my shirt.) So--I was set, and I went off to work for the day.

While heading to Tampa for radiation treatment, I began to feel a bit gloomy. My skin felt so tight, and various spots were stinging like crazy. The radiation therapist looked at my skin again...and he had the nurse come look to see if we needed to forego treatment for the day. She gave me instructions to use Domeboro as a compress on my burns, especially where the skin had "broken down." I went ahead with treatment though...and I fought tears.

I suppose I could describe the feeling I had as loneliness. Hell, you are laying there, "receiving" radiation from this large machine hovering over you, you are alone, in a large room--warning lights flash to ensure no one else enters the room and is subject to the radiation. And when your skin is already so burned...tight and stinging...you choose to forge ahead and subject yourself to even more...

I cried a bit while driving to the pharmacy. I went from sad to mad...I guess I was mad at the world...for not having a true "partner" in all of this, for not having someone to care for me...then I got mad at myself for being such a good little "victim."

So, at home, I applied the compress--that stung like hell, then I slathered on some Silvedene cream. That provided some relief--thank goodness.

Needless to say, I did not make it up to the gym. I had to call and cancel my appointment with the trainer. Oh well, that would have been a bit unfortunate anyway...sweat, blood and oozing sores. No one likes to see that at their local gym...

Some pics of my burns...yes, I look really happy! ;-)

The white gunk is the Silvedene cream.

Armpit (left) and shoulder (right).

Hair is coming in...sloooooowwwwlllyyyy

Hair regrowth as of the 28th of March, two months after my last chemo.

Radiation Burns...

Well, here is a photo of some of the burns I have from radiation treatment. With about 1 week of regular radiation to go, there are some areas where my skin is breaking down (armpit--ouch!) It is a bit painful in some spots, but nothing unmanageable!

Hair Progress?

Goodness, this is slow!!!

Three more weeks of Radiation!

Well, as of today (after today's radiation treatment, actually), I have 3 more weeks of radiation treatment. The final "regular" radiation is on March 31st...then I have 5 "boosts" that will target the area along the scar line. So...the last day should be April 8th.

So far, I have had 3.5 weeks of radiation. I have developed a mild "tan" to my skin on the areas they are targeting. I am using aloe gel (bottled and purified) and/or aloe directly from the plant (just cut off the outside and smear it on!) The aloe seems to be helping, but my skin is still tender and dry where they are treating. I have a couple of small sores in the general area where I have scratched some tender skin...it just opens up and bleeds quite easily. Fun fun!

I don't know if it is the position they have me in each day or the radiation itself, but I have had some lovely neck and shoulder-area muscle spasms. These usually get worse after each radiation treatment...and I have had neck and shoulder pain just about daily. During the weekends, I seem to get a bit of a reprieve...and just after I get my Wednesday massage I do much better. The massage I had last week (March 10th) loosened me up all the way through the 16th...I had no pain until that afternoon! Yay massages!

Really, radiation is just a pain to have to endure each day (an inconvenience). You get used to it...it becomes part of your daily routine...and it becomes less emotional the more you go...well, as long as there is an end in sight! I will say that having fun, happy and upbeat folks at the radiation center makes a huge difference...they make me laugh, and they make me as comfortable as possible...kudos to them!

please grow, please grow...PLEASE?

Come on already!!! I am feeling so impatient with my hair!!! Here's where I am at as of March 15th, 2010, about 6 weeks after my last chemo treatment.

Herceptin...Radiation...fatigue, oh my!

Today, March 11th, was my first combo-day, with Herceptin in the morning and Radiation in the afternoon. Yeah...by the time I made it home and into my bed, I wasn't sure if I could do all of this anymore. I am amazed at how emotionally taxing it is to visit two different oncologists in one day...

I met with the Medical Oncologist (well, his assistant, Nellie, who is great!) this AM before the Herceptin treatment. I told her I have been feeling a bit down...and very tired. Still seem to have some minor edema on occasion (mostly in my ankles), but this has gotten much better since I have been getting regular massages. My red blood cell count is still very low; however, the other components seem to be okay...they don't seem to feel I need any Iron or blood transfusion at this point. I am going to watch this closely...okay, time to eat more meat!

I have developed a small "pouch" of fluid around the incision line on the right side of my chest (not the side that had cancer). It is fluid filled (you can tell by the way it acts--and Nellie checked it to be sure), and does not appear to be anything to be too concerned about at this point. She instructed me to use a warm compress to try to alleviate it. There is no pain from it...just strange having a little pouch of fluid there. She said it could have been caused by "trauma" or a mild injury to the muscle area. Well, I did install a patio last weekend (with concrete pavers), so this could be my own damn fault!!! Oh well, I will watch it and see if we need to do anything further--she said that the surgeon could drain it if absolutely necessary. Let's hope not...I am truly sick of needles...and surgeons.

I asked her about weight loss...I had actually gained around 14 pounds during treatment. She reminded me that this often occurs during Breast Cancer Treatment, and that my metabolism should be getting back to normal soon. I have lost a few pounds, but I am struggling to lose much more...and I have been exercising and reducing my caloric intake. The fluid retention seems to be playing a role, and still, my metabolism is a bit off. Hopefully soon, I will see some of this come off!!!

The Herceptin administration went fine...took just over 1.5 hours...I took no additional medications with it (again), and I had no apparent reactions. Well, I did feel nauseous during and for a while after the administration. Hmmm...very likely mental, but who knows. What is the difference anyway?!?!

After I was done at the Medical Oncology office, I went and pigged out for lunch. Hehehe...trying to lose weight are you??? Try the buffet at Golden Corral. Funny, my thinking was...MEAT. Yep, I had a whole plate of it. Goodness, that was yummy--yes, even the "mystery meat" tasted good. I hadn't been to a Golden Corral for many moons...it is still deliciously nasty--but I stuck with meats and veggies (um, except that last plate--let's just call that my "refined sugars" plate, shall we?)

Then...off to get "zapped!" Radiation went fine as it has been. The folks at Tampa Bay Radiation Oncology are great. I love the two folks I usually see there each day! After they were done, I ventured to ask about my final radiation appointment...the 31st of March, right? NO. The 31st is the last day of "regular radiation," but I get another 5 treatments after that--"boosts!" Oh? April 8th is now my last day...

When they told me this, I fought back tears...emotionally, I just crashed. I drove home...exhausted (mentally and physically), and crawled into my bed. I was a total zombie for most of the night...

Really...really...really ready to be done with all of this treatment...

Hair?

Well, here's where I am at as of March 7th, 2010.

Can I have some hair please?

Just a little blurb about hair regrowth after chemo...

I find myself obsessively watching my scalp for signs of head hair. Every night I shine a flashlight at just the right angle across my sad little head. Now, I still have hair that did not fall out during treatment...I have buzz cut that down to a "One Guard" for now...but every night I look for signs of new growth.

I have some very tiny fine blonde hairs coming in now, just some stubble filling in where I had been very bald. It tickles my fingers to rub my hands across my head.

Legs...my lower legs spit out enough hair that I opted to shave them this morning...my upper legs have some hairs coming in as well...these seem to be more slow and difficult (lots of ingrown hairs dammit!) My arm hairs are also coming in slowly...there were lots that did not fall out, but it is so blonde that you cant really see any hair on my arms at this point. Fine white-blonde hairs are coming in just like on my head.

Pubic hair? Well, after all was said and done, I was left with 3 pubic hairs. I called them my three soldiers guarding the Alamo. I thought about putting them out of their misery...but remembered being a youngster feeling so happy to have ANY pubic hairs...so I left them. I have called in 3 more troops...and there seem to be some others rising to the occasion...along with lots of very fine white-blonde hair (that really does nothing to guard the fort).

Nose hair? I am just fascinated by this. In an earlier blog, I mentioned that I sneezed out the last remaining ones some time ago. I have a few coming in here and there...I swear I can feel them growing in...in all their itchy glory. It is very hard to scratch the inside of your nose...my "regular" fingers are too big to get in there...so I have to use my pinky finger. I find that I am not as skilled with my pinky finger as, say, with my index finger. Oh well...live and learn.

Eyelashes: I never lost these...they may have thinned out a little, but I really did not notice.

My eyebrows are still very much there...but they have been downsized by about 50%. The only regrowth I have noticed there is that one damn eyebrow hair that comes out above my left eye...that one hair that is completely white and grows about an inch long, straight out...the one I always used to forget to pluck until the sun would hit it just right. Yeah, that little bastard is back. I plucked it and felt a little bad about it too.

I am including some pictures of the progression of my hair loss...and where I was as of last weekend. I will provide some re-growth pics as time goes on (I was somewhat obsessive with finding these photos or videos when I was losing my hair). Oh...and only head hair, sorry folks, but I don't need my Alamo ending up posted everywhere for folks to see!

The First Photo (2 days after my first chemo...)








Second Photo (2 weeks into chemo, I cut my hair short)

  

Above right: 2 weeks into second chemo treatment...about 75% of my hair had fallen out. You may also notice how the treatments affected my skin (very dry, required lots of makeup to keep from looking really "ill")

 

The black white above was taken 3 weeks after my last chemo treatment. The hair left on my head had not fallen out during chemo...but 90% was gone.

The last two photos (in color) were taken last weekend (4 weeks after my last chemo treatment; February 26th). No noticeable growth in the photos.

I have since buzzed my hair even shorter than in the last photo, as new little baby hairs are starting to come in. More photos soon!

Week 2 of Radiation is complete!

Wow...so I am now finished with week 2 of my radiation treatment...I think I realized mid-week just how tired the treatments were making me! I've been getting somewhere between 8 and 10 hours of sleep per night (going to bed early and getting up around 7), and I am just plain tired by midday. It really seems to catch up with me by late Wednesday or Thursday morning. I suppose I am a little surprised by this, but when you think about it...I guess logically I shouldn't be!

The doc explained that he would be killing off (not his words) somewhere around 100 lymph nodes...I am certain that my body is royally pissed off by this fact.

I will say (again) that massage is an incredible benefit to me. I have now gone three times in the past few weeks...I afford this by visiting the local massage school (Cortiva Institute). The students are wonderful and the benefits are numerous! I have so little edema in my legs now...and the pains from radiation are greatly reduced after the massages (sadly, I get them right back the next time I have radiation).

Pain from radiation? Not really direct pain, just pain from holding my arms up above my head, completely still in my "mold" for around 10 minutes. I have pain in my neck and shoulders from this...and now the pains are traveling down my arms (feels like pinched nerves). You can try to relax all you want while on that table...getting radiation...it is just not natural to be in that position like that and it pisses off my shoulders and arms. Oh well...

There has been little to no visible effect on my skin on the radiation sites so far...really I just see some minor dryness--especially along the scar line for my mastectomy. I am using aloe vera gel (99% aloe vera...great stuff) every day, sometimes more than once a day, in the general area being "zapped."

So, dry skin, neck and shoulder (and arm) pain, and fatigue...that is where I am at with radiation treatment. I met with the Radiation Doctor on Tuesday...things are going fine. I also got 4 recommendations from him for surgeons who do reconstructive surgery. Will start on that next.

Keeping my chin up and my attitude very positive...

With love,
Tory

Radiation Week 1 is over...woo hoo!

So, it has been a while since I have updated anything here. Things have been so busy for me--sometimes life just rushes by.

After a few simulations with the radiation folks, and my old-school dot tattoos, I was set to start radiation on 2/22/10. In the interim, I went to DFW to visit with Josh and my family. I had a chance to celebrate my last chemo treatment with some folks that I had not seen for many years in Denton. It was so nice to see folks...and to hang out at the Loophole. I tired out so fast though...ended up zonked by 11PM. Oh well, I am old and not a "party girl" anymore!!! Got to visit with my mom...and hang out with Josh on his birthday. That was nice!

Anyway, got back into Tampa and had to do some final imaging with the Radiation folks on the 18th and 19th. They had me keep my arms above my head for about an hour--by the end of that, I could not feel my fingers...and my arms felt like there were 5 million ants biting them at the same time. Yeouch!!!

Thursday the 18th was my first dose of Herceptin without any of the chemo meds. It seemed to go well. I took the Herceptin without any Benadryl or other meds...didn't really feel like I needed them. Had some minor itchiness with it, but I can't really tell if that is from all of my body hair growing back at once or what.

Radiation started on the 22nd. I will say that it was just plain strange. I have 4 series of radiation during the treatments. They last 20 seconds or less. I am specifically positioned for each series. I am on the table for about 5 minutes all told. Essentially, the machine is an x-ray machine...and the series consist of a long x-ray. Not a lot of whirring or banging like some of the other scanner things. Hmm. My skin is fine after the first week. I have been using Aloe Vera gel (from the health food store--so not the cheap stuff) every day on the area being zapped. The techs said that I might see some tanning or burning around week 3. We shall see.

I am slowly but surely regaining my strength...thank goodness! I can feel the weakness in my arms and legs getting less and less. I did struggle with some ugly edema last week. I could not see the bones in my ankles at all. What a pain in the ass. I had a massage at Cortiva Massage Institute on Wednesday--that helped immensley. I highly recommend massage during treatment...it has many many benefits. With elevation and the massage, by Friday, my edema in my ankles had subsided. Thank god!

Anyway, I've just been a bit tired this week...nothing major. So glad to have my sense of taste returning...good food--tastes so good!!!

More later!
Love,
Tory

Radiation Oncology appointment today...back at the gym tonight--woot!

Today I had the "simulation" appointment with the Radiation Oncologist. Mostly, I just met with the technician--who was very good (talked me through everything he was doing, made me feel very comfortable, answered all of my questions, etc.) Took a while--had to get fitted into my "mold" (cradles my head and arms when I hold them above my head); 2 "scout" images of my torso were taken by the CT machine (so they could line me up perfectly before doing the CT Scan); the CT Scan itself...by this time my arms (being held over my head) were completely "asleep." Then, I got to be marked to ensure they line everything up perfectly each time I go in for radiation treatment. TATTOOS!

Well, now I have multiple tattoos. They're just dots, but hey, they count, right? The Radiation Tech did them old-school--I told him he needed a tattoo gun, the hand-method (or prison method) hurt dammit! Oh well, they are just little dots--6 to be precise (two dots at each point they will line up the radiation machine) just along the bra-line on my chest. I have so many moles--I hope they find the right dots! Maybe I should have asked for smiley-faces...that should clear up any questions. He also drew a nice little "starburst" around each one...then put a clear sticker-bandage over each so that I don't wash away the starburst...for a week and a half. We shall see.

I am now waiting for a call to find out about my next appointment...where they do some final adjustments, x-rays and other odds and ends prior to actually beginning the radiation treatment (that will likely start on 2/22/10). Sheesh. Looks like I will probably be going back in on Thursday the 18th...and that is the same day I get my next Herceptin treatment. Wow, busy day.

Oh, I also asked the doc about whether he would be doing "boosts" to my scar line on the left side of my chest. Apparently, this is sometimes done to ensure that if any cancer cells got caught up in the scar tissue that they are appropriately killed off with targeted radiation. He has not yet decided if he is going to have me do that, but he said it would just be added to the end for a few days. AS IF 5.5 weeks of daily radiation Monday through Friday isn't enough already, but oh well.

I swear, all of this poking and prodding and picture-taking and imaging and on and on and on...it is tiresome. I just want to be a semi-normal 35-year-old woman and not have to be dealing with any of this shit anymore. Funny, I am actually in a really great mood lately--even though all of this crap is going on. Even though I was puking up my guts over the weekend (chemo side effects be gone now dammit!!!) Yeah...

Oh, tonight I dragged my tired ass up to the gym too! You know, it felt really good. I am ready to be back into that routine again. I really enjoy getting exercise like that--I even pushed myself a bit with the weights tonight--hell, after 2 weeks away from there I was ready to work hard. And I did. Hmmm...maybe I will go back tomorrow. We shall see. The dog may make me take him to the park--ooooh, maybe I can do both!

More soon...
Love,
Tory

Chemo Haze Weekend...still some side effects....

Well, I still had quite a time this past weekend with some of the nausea from chemo. Hell, I was up puking Sunday night for a while. That was just so much fun, lets not do it again, please!!!

Funny, I really didn't have much nausea during last week...I just trudged through work and chores and all of that fun stuff...and then wham-o...bring on feeling like crap during the weekend. Really sucked. Oh well, lots of rest...and had to put off going to the gym again.

These hot flashes and night sweats are "for the birds." I can't keep it straight what my apparent temperature is during my "awake" hours. The hot flashes are super fast onset and are intense...nothing I am doing seems to help with them, so I am just dealing with it. Hopefully they will subside soon. Night sweats...yeah, I've had to change into new bedclothes a couple of times overnight recently. AND I even had to change my beanie once or twice (it was totally soaked from head sweat!!!) Sheesh...

Well, I am now off of the antibiotics I have been taking for about 2 months (wow!) Sad, I have enjoyed taking them because they were the only thing clearing up the darn zits on my face!!! I have more acne as an adult than I ever had as a teenager. What is up with that??? I guess my body will be happier without the amoxicillin...let's just hope I don't have too much of a time coming off of them! Soon I will not have to take the diflucan either...yay, no more systemic yeast infections please!

Oooh...I had to shave my legs yesterday...first time in months. Well, it was actually just my ankles I had to shave...surprising how quickly that area grew in. Don't really know where it came from, because my nails all broke off last week...and none of the other hair on my body (that was lost) seems to be making much of an appearance. Weird.

Well, hopefully this nausea and puny-feeling bit will be over very soon...I am just about done with it. Ok, there, I am done with it!

Love,
Tory

Radiation Treatment Information

During my visit with the Radiation Oncologist (whom I LOVED, by the way), I learned a lot about my type of Breast Cancer and Radiation Treatment in general. Essentially, the doc gave me the option of not having radiation at all...or increasing my chances of not having a recurrence by 7 to 9 percent. I have opted to go ahead with the radiation treatment.

Essentially, I will be zapped daily for 5.5 weeks after they determine exactly the areas they are going to radiate. The doc indicated he wanted to radiate the area just above my clavicle to ensure the lymph nodes there were killed off (just in case there were cancer cells in that area that could not be reached during the axillary node dissection I had back in September). Additionally, they will radiate my armpit area and the chest wall, being careful not to damage the lungs.

I asked a lot of questions about how they ensure they do not accidentally radiate my thyroid or other areas. Basically, so much of the treatment is planned based on computers and computations developed from imaging studies, that the other organs and areas are very often protected from the radiation beams. It is not guaranteed, but they are very precise.

Hmmm...interesting stuff. We also chatted about reconstruction and how radiation affects this. As I have already been made aware, I will likely have to wait about 6 months after radiation to have reconstructive surgery...more waiting, but hey--it will be worth it. My skin and the tissues will need to "rest" after the radiation treatments...the doc also indicated (just like Dr. Cox did) that I would most likely be getting the Lat flap procedure...with possible implants for volume. Hehehehhe...this makes me laugh. Having a bunch of guys talk about what would give me the right volume. Hmmm.

Anyway, I will be heading back to get "simulation" on February 9th...this is where they will be doing CT scan(s) and marking me up to make sure I am aligned perfectly during radiation.

More soon!

Last chemo weekend...and appointment with the Radiology Oncologist today

Well, I had a crappy night's sleep overnight. Just kept waking up every couple of hours to major hotflashes and nightsweats. Hmmm...hopefully these will lessen soon (please).

This round of chemo has been tiring...but no major issues. Very similar to the first round again. No vomiting, no diarrhea. Just some dry mouth and feeling like my head was full of Jello. Oh, and my muscles have been weak as can be. My arms and legs have felt like there is just no strength in them. Hasn't really stopped me much though. I was able to get Sarge up to the Dog Park Friday (wow, I know!), Sunday and Monday evenings. It actually seemed to help my mood to get him out and about, so this was a good thing.

I did have some lovely nausea during the night (overnight) on Sunday and last night. The anti-nausea meds helped, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Food: I am still uber-picky with foods right now, and I have strange cravings still. Luckily, I have been craving things like strawberries and blueberries during the past couple of days--that beats cravings for Taco Bell (thank God!) Since I have managed to actually gain weight during this (steroids--nasty bastards), I am looking again at my food intake and exercise regimen. Starting to get some of my plans in place to get my diet back to "normal" and hopefully get back on a regular schedule with going to the gym. Just a couple more days of feeling "off" from the chemo, and I should be able to hit the gym again. I hope my muscles wake up again...I am wondering what my Red Blood Cell counts look like--probably low. I have been watching my iron and protein intake closely to try and combat some of my muscle fatigue. Sheesh...funny, I have actually been doing better than I thought on iron intake--protein, well, had to look at that one a little more closely.

So, today I go to the Radiation Oncologist. My appointment is at 9:30 AM. I have my usual list of questions typed up and ready to go. I guess I am a little nervous--meeting ANOTHER new doctor, finding out about another procedure/process to go through. What a royal pain in the ass.

My questions:
What time of day will I be getting radiation and for how long each day; how many treatments over how many weeks; what exactly does radiation do; how does one target the areas where the cancer was--lymph nodes, etc.; how do we know exactly what to hit; is it true you cannot radiate the same area twice; how will it affect my other bodily functions/what are the possible side effects; how do we protect other areas of my body, such as my lungs and thyroid; should I avoid or add certain foods/supplements; what kinds of creams or lotions should I use or not; how do I protect my skin; and is there something I should/can do to have a better outcome for my reconstruction that I have planned for later?

Well, I am just glad that Chapter 3 of treatment is on the horizon. Still feeling the effects of Chapter 2, but I am honestly feeling okay.

Can I have my hair back now please? :-)

~Tory

LAST CHEMO is DONE!!! WOO HOO!

Well, the day has finally come (and gone). I had my last chemo treatment on Thursday!

I met with the Doc first, and we discussed my schedule for seeing him moving forward (every 3 months); when I will start getting PET Scans (every 6 months); when I will begin getting blood tests for cancer markers (intermittently, about every 3 months); and how I will continue the Herceptin every 3 weeks through September. Bloodwork looked very good (with some lower Red Blood Cell counts--I swear I have been feeling that in my leg muscles, but the other counts were fine to continue with treatment). I also asked him to give me a ballpark estimate on my chances for recurrence...25% chance. Bummer...but let's not go there...75% chance of Cancer-Free for the rest of my life what I am going to focus on.

I started getting my chemo at around 11AM...during the Carboplatin administration I began to have an allergic reaction. We had to stop the Carboplatin (it was so close to being done anyway), because my feet and hands began to itch like mad. The palms of my hands turned bright red!!! Apparently, I was reacting to the Platinum in the med...so they ended up having to give me lots of steroids and extra Benadryl to calm down my reaction. I had moderate itching for about 45 minutes...with mild itchiness for the rest of the night (Benadryl helped). Hell, even when I went in on Friday afternoon for extra fluids I was still somewhat itchy.

Oh well...after 5.5 hours hooked up to the chemo machine, I was finally done. I was so tired and nauseous after this!!! Honestly, I think the Aloxi anti-nausea med made me feel more nauseous. Hmmm... I drove home and decided that I would take it easy for the night.

Friday: I slept in a bit and did some work from home via computer. I felt hot as hell...my chest and face were "beet red" from all of the extra steroids they had to give me. Around 1:30 PM, I went in for my extra fluids and my Neulasta shot. I remembered to take my Claritin earlier in the day; however, I somehow forgot to put the Lidocaine cream on the skin over my chemo port. MUST NOT FORGET THIS!!! I still have Herceptin to get every 3 weeks--and even with the sprays and an "expert nurse" putting the needle into the port, that shit hurts!!!Yeouch!

Anyway, I asked for some extra Benadryl to help with the itching...and I asked for some extra Aloxi to help with nausea. I do think Aloxi is crap. Did not seem to help the nausea AT ALL...in fact, I would say I felt more nauseous after it (although I know this could just be mental).

After leaving the doc's office, I drove home and decided to take the dog up to the Dog Park. We stayed there for about an hour...then he went up and pawed at his leash to go home! Sarge is such a good dog...I am so grateful to have him during this experience. He is a total MESS...although I am not sure if I would handle life well without people and critters with issues surrounding me. :-)

LOTS of heartburn, chemo burps and chemo farts last night. Went to bed around 9:30 PM...slept in until 8 AM or so. Good night's sleep...weird dreams though.

So, just a few days of feeling funky...the bad kind of funky. Then, I will begin My Life 2.0!

Upcoming Appointment:
Meet with the Radiation Oncologist on Tuesday

Need To:
Start making appointments to meet with Reconstruction Surgeons...so I can begin looking forward to my NOOBIES. :-)

Love,
Tory

Last chemo is tomorrow!!!

So, the last scheduled chemo treatment is TOMORROW! I am so glad this day is finally (almost) here! I will be going in and meeting with the Doc at 9:45 AM then on to chemo for about 4 hours. I know I will feel yucky for about 5 days...but I am ready for this now. I am so ready for this to be over with!

I am ready for my hair to come back; I am ready for my skin to stop looking so dry and wrinkly; I am ready to stop retaining so much water because of the nasty steroids; I am ready for my face to stop needing so much makeup; I am ready for my throat to stop hurting; I am ready for strange food cravings to end; I am ready to stop taking weird medications to keep from getting opportunistic infections; I am ready to not have to plan my life around when I will feel bad or good; I am just plain ready.

I know that radiation treatment will be a pain in the butt...having to go in and get zapped every day for 5-6 weeks is not what I'd call fun; however, I know that it will be much easier on me and my body than chemo.

I know that I will keep having to go every 3 weeks to get Herceptin through the port in my chest. It will take about 90 minutes each time for it to be administered--and I will do this every 3 weeks until October; however, I know that it will be NOTHING like the mess of poisons I have been receiving.

I know that I will have surgery about 6 months after my last radiation treatment. I still do not know what all this will entail; however, I know that I will be just fine.

I know that Breast Cancer sucks; however, I know it has changed me--and I am grateful for this odd gift (well, the fruits of it--I haven't gone that nutty).

Here's to no more poison...
Here's to lots more living!

Love,
Tory

Less than a week until my last chemo...

Well, less than one week until my last chemo! I've been feeling really well this week--a bit tired, but I have managed to drag myself up to the gym two nights after work!!! I've been really excited about work...love some of the projects I am working on. I've even managed to get the dog up to the dog park most nights this week!

My appointment with the Radiation Oncologist (http://www.tbropa.com/index.html is the website...my doc is Greenberg) is set for February 2nd. I will find out what that treatment will be like--exactly when it will begin, what it entails, etc.

Soon, I would like to also meet with some surgeons to discuss reconstruction options. I've researched this quite a bit; however, I've put this on the backburner recently...

Funny, I've noticed my head hair is GROWING! Not new hair where I am bald, but the little fine hairs I have left are growing. WEIRD! At the same time, the hair on the rest of my body is evacuating--my pubes have seriously gone on vacation. And they have not done so in an orderly fashion.

I have had some moderate nosebleeds this week--mostly earlier in the week (and last weekend). They were heavier than they had been...but manageable. I found that I just had to let it clot...and then not mess with the damn clot. Too bad it is fun to dig out bloody booger clots. Hmmm. I apparenly need a new hobby.

Well, I am elated that my last chemo "treatment" is less than a week away. So glad...ready to be done being poisoned....and hopefully cured!

Bring on the last treatment! Let's get this shit over with!

Chemo Weekend #5...tired, sleep, nauseous, hot flashes, chest pains?

Ok, so I am feeling pretty puny tonight. This round reminds me a lot of round #1 where I had this weird ringing in my ears, hot feelings constantly, kinda outer-worldly "I think someone is poisoning me" feeling...hey, someone is!!! Lord do I feel tired and out of sorts!
I am hot one minute, cold the next...and I have this weird feeling like my skin is too big for my body. Weird? Yes, except that my head skin (stay with me) feels too small for my head. No, I am not stoned...and no, I have not taken extra anti-nausea meds today. FYI: most of the cool anti-nausea meds are Atypical-Anti-Psychotics that have the side effect of making one not feel nauseated. Still wonder who figured out that stuff--and how.
Anyway, started getting these weird pains in my chest last night...on the right side (next to my heart). Last night I shrugged it off and went up to McDonald's to get a BigMac (at 10:30 PM). Hey, nothing like "celebrating" a chest pain by eating a BigMac. God, those are disgusting (-ly AMAZING). Yep, disgusting, amazing...incredibly salty. Yeah, polished it off with an Oreo McFlurry. Like I needed that, but hey--I had a serious craving for a BigMac and a McFlurry. These cravings never occur, so hey, why not indulge? Yes, it was late, and yes I went to sleep shortly thereafter. And YES, I had wicked-cool dreams. Well, nightmares actually. Hmmm...
So, got up this AM and went in to work...after my nose stopped bleeding and the worst of the nausea calmed down a bit. On the way up to the office, I realized I had forgotten to take my Claritin...yes, the bone pain was kicking my ass (pelvis, actually), so I stopped at the store and got the 10mg loratadine tabs...
At the office, I started having the chest pains again. In one spot...on the right side, just to the right of my heart. Damn, trying to calm yourself down can be a difficult task in such situations. The pains were intermittent...jabbing, sharp pains. No real rhythm to them...but hey, I put my tail between my legs and decided to head over to the doc just to be sure. Yep, pet me on the head, I actually went to my doc with chest pains.
Hmmm...saw my doc's assistant Nellie again. She figures I am fine...probably more bone pain from the Neulasta...or a pulled muscle, but she sent me over to St. Joseph's for a chest x-ray just to be sure. No call back tonight from the doc, so I am figuring the x-ray was fine or will not be read until tomorrow. Meh, felt okay after the x-ray, still having these weird intermittent pains in my chest though. Feels kinda like a spasm of sorts.
Anyway, I am really tired. I slept some this afternoon, and I am getting ready to head back to bed again now. Thank goodness I am not having a weird craving for some crap fast food tonight! Soup and toast sated me nicely.
Just 17 days until my last chemo...I want this over with NOW. Soon...soon...I am so tired...mentally and physically. I am ready to be done!!!

Chemo part 5 of 6--Just one more to go!!!

Well, yesterday I had my 5th of 6 chemotherapy sessions over in Tampa. I slept horribly the night before--my nerves were just through the roof. I think I was worried about having the side effects I had from the last chemo. Hmmm...

My appointment was at 9:30AM, and my friend Judith was able to come sit with me during the appointment and treatment. Judith rocks!!! My weight was a bit higher than I had anticipated; however, the stupid steroids are still making me retain so much water in my midsection--I was not too surprised.

The nurse drew blood from my chemo port again...but she had some trouble this morning, and she missed the port at first. That was not pleasant AT ALL. Not recommended. Makes you a wee bit nauseous--dizzy, and yeah, I thought seriously about taking a quick nap! I didn't (thank goodness), and she was able to get the needle in properly on the second attempt. Youch!

Met with the doctor's assistant "Nellie" today. I like her...she does a very thorough physical exam (hands on, asks lots of questions, etc.) We decided to do ANOTHER course of antibiotics because I still am coughing a bit from the cold I got last month (hey, I like to hang on to things sometimes!!!) We also decided that because I had such a rough time with the side effects last time, I would come back on Friday (today) to get some extra fluids and extra anti-nausea meds via IV. I am happy with this.

The chemo administration itself went okay, although I did get a bit nauseous at first (probably mental...) It lasted a bit longer than it had in the past...I was there for about 5 hours...Judith dutifully sat next to me and watched me nap most of the time. It was very nice to have her there...I felt relaxed enough to sleep this time, and last time I did not. Trust me, it is just better to have a buddy with you!!! During the last little while, while I was getting the Herceptin, I felt a bit woosy--but it went away within a minute or two. Again, I felt fine enough to drive after I got up and walked around for a bit. Made it home with no problem!

I did run into my friend Nancy at the office. She is almost done with radiation and is still receiving the Herceptin treatments every 3 weeks (like I will be). Her hair is coming back in very thick! Looks adorable...nice to see her looking smiley and happy.

Last night was just fine...I was very hungry and ate small amounts of food throughout the night. Lots of fluids too! This kinda sucked considering the master bathroom toilet was not functioning...so I had to trek over to the guest bathroom A LOT! Oh well, getting the toilet fixed right now...then I will get ready for round 2 of the doc's visit!

Had a bit of trouble falling asleep last night...but was finally able to. This am I am feeling hot (from the steroids), and my skin gets this lovely shade of bright red from the steroids too. We'll see how the side effects are...they have a tendency to kick in later today...although each time has been slightly different.

Well...thank you RotoRooter man, for fixing my toilet...I hope I do not have to abuse it anytime soon!

More later,
Tory

Chemo Girl rocks the gym!

So, I felt very well today and decided to head up to the gym. I had a great workout...30 minutes of cardio and about 45 minutes of weights. I was able to do well tonight--still operating at about 2/3 of where I was at with the weight work (having to do less sets), but am able to get the weight to just about where I was before.

Didn't feel too self-conscious tonight, and I was happy to see there were so many other folks wearing beanies! It was about 44 degrees outside (frigid by Tampa Bay standards!) Nice not to be the only one in a hat!!!