Sick, Tired, and really Depressed

Well, tonight I am just feeling depressed and alone. I hate feeling like this!!! I am so tired of chemo right now, I cannot even express my frustration. I am sick--this damn infection is acting more like a cold virus than bronchitis (better, maybe?), I have my next chemo in just over a day...no one will be sitting with me during chemo this time...oh well. I guess I am just being a big baby. But I am PISSED, SAD, ANGRY, and I cannot seem to stop crying tonight!!!

I couldn't go in to the office today--had to work at home. And I feel so fucking guilty about that. I know I have been trying very hard to keep up a normal routine and pace at work...hell, I just need to give myself a break. I bust my ass most of the time...I just hate that I couldn't make it in today. There was a big meeting I really needed to be at, and I was just too sick to be there. What a royal pain in the ass.

I did post my first "negative message" on Facebook...and much to my surprise, lots of folks had some really kind and reassuring things to say back to me. Those comments were really nice to hear...I've been reading them into the night tonight. Funny how it makes me feel less "alone!"

Well, it is late, and I need my rest to try and get better before chemo on Wednesday. Ugh...yes, I will be 2/3 through on Wednesday...that is a good thing! I think...